


Vulnerable

by ThoseWhoDanceInTheShadows



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Animal Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multiple Personalities, Non-Graphic Violence, Self-Mutilation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-26 17:30:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2660453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThoseWhoDanceInTheShadows/pseuds/ThoseWhoDanceInTheShadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why is Akashi Seijurou always the one held responsible for the actions of another? Sure it's his body, but one body doesn't always mean one person. How can he learn to deal with sharing his body when no one understands? AkaKuro AU focused on Multiple Personality Disorder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: I Come Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the knb characters in this story.
> 
> Warnings: This story is heavily focused on Multiple Personality Disorder, and may contain rape in later chapters.

********

What has he done? Nothing, not that he can remember, anyway. Yet the evidence is on his hands. The blood. So much blood, on his hands and on the soft, green grass under his feet. He glances toward the source of the liquid. His dog. His stomach is torn open, guts leaking out, staining the grass red. And the blood. So much blood. How does so much blood come from such a little dog?

Jun. He's such a good little dog. So cute and cuddly. He sleeps in Seijurou's room every night. To protect him, his mother said once. Or he used to. He can't anymore. Seijurou feels a lump grow in his throat at that thought. The thought that Jun will never play with him, or protect him, or eat, or even sleep again. It's saddening.

Then why did he do it?

"Sei-chan, darling, come inside." A female voice that he recognizes as his mother's comes from the sliding door that separates the porch from the lawn. Seijurou's eyes widen. He can't let her see what's happened, not until he gets the crimson liquid off his hands and clothing. He doesn't want her to blame him. "Come in for a snack," she says, sliding the door open a bit. She spots him, smiling, and comes towards him-and stops when she sees the blood on his hands. All the blood. Her smile falters.

"Why do you have blood on you?" She asks, worry etched into the soft lines of her face. "Are you hurt? What happened?" She quickly opens the door the rest of the way and hurries over to the blood-covered boy. She doesn't see the dead dog until she almost trips over him. She screams.

The next thing he knows, he's being gathered into his mother's arms. She lifts him off the blood-soaked ground and holds him tightly to her chest. Normally he would refuse such treatment, (He is five years old, thank you very much. That's an entire hand.) But he's scared. Who killed Jun? Are they going to come after him next? Is that why his mother is reacting this way? But what he really wanted to know is how the blood get on his hands? Frighted, he closes his eyes and buries his face into her white blouse. What if the perpetrator is still in the yard? What if he's waiting for the right moment to strike them down and split them open, like what he did to Jun?

"I want to go inside," Seijurou whispers.

"Alright, love," she whispers back. He feels her turn and start to walk back to the house. He wants to hold onto her, but he doesn't want to stain her shirt with his dirty hands. As soon as they get indoors, away from the horrible sight in the back yard, he gathers up the courage to open his eyes and looks up. He immediately regrets it. His mother is crying. Why, though? Seijurou never thought she was all that fond of Jun.

His mother carries him into the closest bathroom, and sets him on the edge of the sink counter. She's shaken, he can tell. "What exactly happened?" she asks, wetting a washcloth to clean the blood off his skin.

"I don't know," he admits quietly. To him the washcloth seems ineffective.

"Think." she demands him. Her tears are dry. Seijurou is slightly intimidated; it isn't often she uses that tone, only when he's done something very bad. But this isn't his fault! He would definitely remember killing his own beloved dog.

_He throws a bright green ball across the yard, laughing as Jun stumbles over himself trying to catch it. When he brings it back, it's covered in slobber. Jun wags his tail and waits-_

_Seijurou's hands are red and wet from a warm substance that is certainly not dog spit, and Jun is lying in a mutilated mess on the ground. ___

__Why is that space blank? How could he possibly not remember? And how is he supposed to convince his mother of his innocence when he doesn't have any evidence against the real killer? It is extremely frustrating for the young boy, and he feels himself started to get worked up._ _

__"I-I think someone must have snuck into the yard while I wasn't looking," he tries, tears forcing their way into his eyes._ _

__His mother stays silent for a few minutes as she removes his dirty shirt and finishes cleaning him up. Then she softly says, "We were so afraid of something like this happening."_ _

__Seijurou doesn't exactly understand what she's talking about, but he does know this: she's blaming him. "But I didn't do anything, Mother!" he cries. "We were just playing and then h-he...the blood..." He finally gives into the horrible feeling in his chest and starts to sob loudly, like any child would._ _

__His mother once again wraps her arms around him and holds him close. "Shh, it's okay," she tries to calm him, petting his hair softly. But the dam has already been broken, so her actions have little effect. "You didn't do anything. Just forget about it. I'll clean up the yard. We don't have to tell your father."_ _

__"B-but Jun..."_ _

__"He ran away."_ _

__*_ _

__Later that day, when Seijurou is in bed and supposed to be sleeping, he finally gets an answer._ _

__"I'm the one who killed that dog." The voice is soft and light; a child's, maybe around Seijurou's own age._ _

__Seijurou bolts up, eyes wide in search for the source of the voice. It's dark, but he is afraid to uncover himself to turn on the light. It's a childish thought, but he feels safe under his blanket. He shouldn't be afraid of a kid, but this is a kid who kills dogs. That left Seijurou wondering why on earth the kid did it, though._ _

__"I had to. That thing could have been dangerous when it was full-grown. It could have hurt Mother." It's the answer to his unasked question, and Seijuro briefly thinks that maybe the kid can read minds. Very strange indeed._ _

__"Who are you?" Seijuro demands, speaking out loud, just in case._ _

__"You can call me Emperor." That sentence marks the end of the first conversation between Seijurou and the person who will torment him for the rest of his life._ _


	2. This Fire

School has always been a bit boring to Seijurou. Monotonous classes going over things that he already knows, is an expert at even. He gets a perfect score on every test and assignment his teachers give him and he's always quick to participate in class, maybe just to prove to the other students that, yes, he is smarter than them. His father makes sure of it.

He's in his homeroom class, waiting for the teacher to hand his midterms back. He already knows he's passed everthing, but he'd just like to have the paper to prove to his father and tutor that he's keeping ahead of the others.

When the teacher reaches his desk, sure enough, there's a red 100 at the top of each page. Feeling satisfied, he slips the papers into his bag.

"Ah, Akashi-kun did so well," a voice behind him says. It isn't a voice he recognizes, and no one talks to him anyway. Not even for homework help, even though he's the best in the class.

Seijurou turns to put a face to the voice. The kid's face is also unrecognized. Did they always have a blue-haired kid in their class? Though that's not what stands out to Seijurou. The boy has brilliant blue eyes,  _such pretty eyes._  Not that he ever bothered to memorize his classmates' faces, but he's sure he would remember those eyes.

"I didn't do so well," the boy continues. Seijurou glances at the tests the kid is holding out. They're all slightly below average, except for Japanese literature, which is near perfect.

"Did you just transfer here?" Seijurou asks. That would explain his lack of recognition and also the boy's bad scores.

"No, I've been here the whole time." He looks confused and maybe a bit hurt. "Has Akashi-kun really never noticed me? I've sat behind you all year."

"Oh. Sorry." Seijurou doesn't exactly  _feel_  sorry, but he tries to be polite anyway, since this kid has the nerve to try to start a conversation with him.

"It's okay. I've been told I don't stand out very much," The boy informs him.

Seijurou thought that was a bit strange, seeing how he had the most piercing eyes he's ever seen. "What is your name?"

"Kuroko Tetsuya."

Ah, now that sounds familiar to Seijurou. He's definitely heard that name during attendance. "Nice to meet you, Kuroko Tetsuya."

"Likewise," The boy, Kuroko Tetsuya, replies. "Although, I've known who you are for a while now."

The bell signalling the end of school rings and Seijurou leaves with a strange feeling deep in his chest. A feeling of want, a fire, a  _burning desire._  It's a feeling he doesn't think belongs to him.

 

 

* * *

"-an? Sei-chan, why have you stopped reading?"

The voice breaks into his mind and the room snaps into focus. He's in his sitting room, curled up on the leather couch, snuggled into his mother's side.

"Huh...?" He shifts away from his mother, feeling a bit uncomfortable being so close to her at sixteen. A book he doesn't realize he's holding falls to the floor with a soft thump.

A look of worry is on his mother's pale face. "Sei-chan? What's wrong, dear?"

"Ah, sorry." He bends over and grabs the book off the carpet. It's a novel he recognizes, one that's been on his bedroom's shelf for quite a while but he isn't interested in. "I've lost my place." He briefly considers trying to find the page he was on, but he doesn't even remember reading at all, so it would be pointless. "Actually,I'm done reading for now. I should do my homework." He leaves the book and his baffled mother on the couch and heads towards his room.

It was a black out. Just a blackout. Nothing to worry about. He gets them all the time.

_Aw, Mother is upset now, Sei-chan._

A cold shiver runs through Seijurou's body at the sound of the voice. It's definitely a familiar voice, one he's heard quite a few times. "Go ahead and poke fun at the name. Just remember that she calls you that too," he shoots back, speaking only in his mind.

_The difference is I'm actually her darling Sei-chan. You're just an annoyance._

Seijurou ignores him. When he gets to his room, since he doesn't actually have homework, he falls onto his large bed and buries his face in the soft, black sheets. Please just go away, he thinks.

It has been a while since  _he_  last was heard from. Seijurou was starting to think that maybe he was finally gone. Not that  _that_  is possible. You can't leave you're own body. Although that's unfair, isn't it? It's not his body! It's Seijurou's. Why should he share with someone else? As far as he knows, no one else has a 'roommate'.

The thing that bothers him the most is that his mother seems to favour that guy. Seijurou never knows what the other does while in control, but he does know that he is not a good person. Why on earth does she like him better than Seijurou? It's not fair.

Sighing loudly, he rolls over and stares at the ceiling. He makes a mental note to ask his mother to stop calling him Sei-chan.

* * *

The days pass as they always do. Seijurou wakes up, eats breakfast, goes to school, comes home to be tutored on whatever his father feels like making him learn, eats dinner, and gets ready for bed. He does get some free time in there, but he never does much with it. What can he do? He has no friends and video games aren't allowed in his house. He has to either do schoolwork or sit and do nothing. After sixteen years with no time to just be a teenager, Seijurou wishes he had someone to hang out with.

One day in class, Seijurou realizes that his wish for a friend may actually come true.

"How are you today, Akashi-kun?" It's the boy that sits behind him. Kuroko Tetsuya with the beautiful blue eyes.

"I'm well, how are you?" Seijurou replies politely.

"Still failing," Kuroko answers. "But other than that, everything is fine."

Talking about grades again? "You're not talking to me to get me to do your homework, are you?" he accuses. Even though he's trying to joke, he believes that it might actually be true.

Kuroko doesn't even bat an eyelid. "Of course not. I'm talking to you because you seem like an interesting person." A pause, then an afterthought. "Though some homework help would be greatly appreciated."

"I knew it." Seijurou's lips lift a bit at the corners. "How about you come over to my house sometime?" he asks. "I could tutor you there."

"I'd like that, thank you." The blue-haired boy bows as well as he can while sitting at a desk.

Seijurou doesn't notice how Kuroko is already weeding his way into his heart.

* * *

 

Kuroko ends up coming home with him that Friday after school. Kuroko is in awe by the fact that Seijurou has someone drive him to and from school every day, and even starts a friendly conversation with his chauffeur, something that Seijurou himself never bothered to do, even though he's in the car a good thirty or forty minutes a day with the man.

Kuroko is in even more awe once he sees the Akashi family house. "Is this really still Japan?" he asks, as they pass through the security gate. "I knew you were well off, but I never guessed you were this rich. I kind of hate you at the moment."

Seijurou leads him into the house. He's never had a guest of his own before, so he's not completely sure what to do. Should he offer him food and drink? But his maid will do that. Instead he stands awkwardly with Kuroko in the entrance hall, waiting for her to show up.

After a few seconds of silence, the woman makes herself seen. "Seijurou-sama, welcome home!" she greets.

"I'm home," he replies. "I have a guest. We're going to do homework."

She looks confused for a moment, then exclaims, "Ah! I didn't see you there."

"Pardon the intrusion." Kuroko bows in Seijurou's peripheral vision.

"Well, Seijurou-sama, you have a violin lesson scheduled in ten minutes," the maid tells him.

"Tell my father to postpone it, then," he commands. Obviously he's not going to take part in it. He doesn't blame her for not knowing to cancel though, because he never has before. "We'll be in my room."

They part ways and he escorts Kuroko to the top floor and into his bedroom. He notices that Kuroko is holding his shoes. He probably took them off at the entrance, Seijurou realizes. That's one of the Japanese customs that never really applied to him due to his western-styled house. He slips out of his shoes and sets them in the closet, motioning for Kuroko to do the same.

"Make yourself at home," Seijurou says to the other boy, setting his bag down by his desk. "No need to be so awkward." His room is large and contains only a few things. His bed, a bookshelf, and a desk. The only thing in his closet is clothing.

"Akashi-kun is the awkward one," Kuroko protests, but he seems to relax a bit and settles himself into one of the chairs by the desk. "Or should I call you Seijurou-sama?"

Seijurou smiles at the joke, even though he's being made fun of. "You can call me whatever you want." He mulls over that for a couple seconds. "Except Sei-chan."

"I'll keep that in mind," he says. "I guess we should get started on what I originally came over for."

"Of course." Switching gears, Seijurou digs through his bag for the homework they were assigned that day, and he began his mission to teach Kuroko what he needed to pass.

He has never tutored anyone before and he thought that it might be hard or frustrating, but Kuroko is rather smart and picks up things quickly. Seijurou briefly wonders how he got so far behind, and made a mental note to ask him about it later. During their study session, Seijurou's maid brought them snacks to keep them satiated until dinner. And to gush about how cute Kuroko is. That was slightly embarrassing, but then again Seijurou fully agrees. His potential friend is cute.

He also find out that Kuroko and him have quite a lot in common. They have a lot of similar views on things and have read many of the same books. They finished their homework and covered a few past assignments and talk turned to a certain book Seijurou owns that Kuroko has been wanting to read.

"I can let you borrow it," Seijurou offers. "It's very good."

"Really?" Kuroko asks.

Seijurou hums as a confirmation, standing up and heading to his bookshelf to find it. "I'll warn you though, you need to be prepared for the ending." He finds it quickly and pulls it off the shelf.

"I've heard it's sad." Kuroko makes his way toward where Seijurou and the bookshelf are and takes the book. He studies the cover and flips through the pages for a handful of seconds. "Did you cry?" he questions.

Seijurou's slightly taken aback by the inquiry. "I...ah..." Truthfully, he  _did_  cry, but he doesn't exactly want to admit that.

Kuroko closes the book and smiles lightly at him. "That's okay. I teared up over a video game earlier."

"You play video games?" Seijurou is a little shocked and jealous. His father doesn't like them so he's never allowed them.

"Well, it's like an interactive visual novel," he clears up. "I have a few of them. Their fun and you still get the joy of reading."

That sounds interesting. Maybe if he tells his father about games like that he'll allow them, though probably not. Kuroko must see something in his expression, because he go back over to his backpack and digs something out. It's a handheld game system.

"I'll lend it to you," he informs Seijurou, tossing it onto the bed. "For the book."

"Are you sure?" Lending someone a book is very different than lending them an electronic.

Kuroko nods. "I finished it at lunch today and would really like someone to discuss the ending with."

"Thank you..." Seijurou sits down on his bed and picks up the foreign object. "I'm not sure how to use this," he admits.

The blue-haired boy smiles. "I'll show you." He sits next to Seijurou and shows him how to turn it on and a few of the other basic things. He gets the game started up and lets him play the opening while he starts on the novel Seijurou is letting him borrow.

Seijurou never knew that friends (he can call them that, right?) could just sit without talking and still be perfectly comfortable. But there they sit, on his bed even, each doing their own thing, and yet Seijurou doesn't feel the need to start a conversation. He feels like he could happily carry on like this for hours, but Kuroko's phone making an annoying notification sound puts an end to his peaceful thoughts.

"What is it?" he asks the other.

"Just a text from my mother," Kuroko replies. "She's just making sure I'm fine."

"Oh." To Seijurou that's a little strange. It's not even late. But he knows that other families a different than his, so he doesn't comment.

Kuroko falls back onto the pillows. "You know, I'm probably the envy of a lot of girls at school right now," he casually states.

"Really? How's that?" He saves his spot in the game and sets it down, copying Kuroko's position.

"I'm on Akashi Seijurou's bed." Kuroko rolls a bit to his left so he's facing Seijurou, blue eyes sweeping over his face. "With him next to me. You're really popular, you know."

Seijurou's breath catches in his throat at the implications of that. "What are you saying?" He wants to touch the other boy, just run his fingers all over his body and do God knows what. Honestly, he's a bit disgusted by his thoughts. What's he doing thinking something like that about a kid he's known for two weeks? But Kuroko's looking at him so innocently, and those lips, he notices, are a very lovely shade of pink, and he wonder's if they taste like-

_I want to consume him._

Seijurou bolts up and away from Kuroko. "What's the matter?" he hears behind him. He doesn't answer; he feels like he's breathing too hard. He had momentarily forgotten about Emperor Akashi. How stupid of him.

Kuroko sits up next to him with a worried expression. "Are you okay? I apologise if that was strange."

Seijurou slows his breathing. "I'm fine. I just suddenly thought that I should introduce you to my mother." He forces a smile.

Kuroko gives him a weird look, but says, "I'd be glad to meet her."

They find his mother in the sitting room, humming a song and crocheting something that resembles a blanket. She spots him before he says anything and calls out, "Sei-chan! What colour should I add next?"

"Black," he decides, because it matches with everything. "I want to introduce you to someone."

"Oh?" She glances around the room, her eyes going right through Kuroko. Her gleeful expression turns wary. "Sei-chan, we've talked about this. You know not to-"

"Mother," he interrupts, speaking loudly to cover her words. "This is my classmate, Kuroko Tetsuya." He gestures to the boy next to him.

"Oh!" She finally registers that there is another person in the room. "I'm sorry, I didn't notice you were there!" She stands to greet him properly. "Nice to meet you."

Kuroko replies in the same manner. "Akashi-kun is very smart. He's helping me with school."

"Ahhh, I always knew my Sei-chan would find a friend if he just tried," she exclaims. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"Thank you, but I actually have plans with my parent," he says. "I should probably get going."

"Oh, too bad. Let's walk him to the door, Sei-chan." She grabs Seijurou's hand and motions for Kuroko to follow. Seijurou tries to discreetly tug his hand out of his mother's grip, but fails, so he's either stuck with the embarrassment or he can make a scene of making her let go. He chooses the former.

"Thank you for having me over," Kuroko says once they 're safely outside, leaving Seijurou's mother at the door. "I had a good time."

"I did as well," Seijurou confirms. He smiles down at Kuroko, who returns the expression.

The blue-haired boy reaches into the side pocket of his bag. Seijurou's heart pounds for a moment as his other hand goes to grab his own, but only until he realizes that the object he pulled out from his back is a pen and he's writing something on Seijurou's palm.

"I forgot to give that to you earlier," he explains when he's done. Seijurou looks at it. It's a phone number. "Now you can talk to me whenever you want." Seijurou assures that he will make contact and they part ways.

_I want to consume him..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I'm so sorry for never updating. I swear I haven't decided not to continue it. At least the basic plot has made itself known to me now, so I can actually write it. I'm very tired right now, so I'll read through it when I wake up and try to fix the grammar. If you notice any mistakes, feel free to let me know.
> 
> Anyways, thanks so much for reading! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think.


	3. Hands and Faces

It doesn't take Seijurou long to realize that he likes Kuroko. 'Likes' as in really,  _really_  likes. And that means a lot for Seijurou, who usually doesn't like anyone. Maybe it's because the kid is so damn straightforward. He doesn't treat Seijurou as the Akashi family heir, or even that he comes from a family of wealth. If he does something even slightly against Kuroko's liking, Kuroko is quick to reprimand him right there.

It's not just his personality either - Seijurou is also very fond of his physical features. His plump, pink lips, his cute nose, his soft, blue hair. He likes that Kuroko is shorter than him. Not by much, but there's still an obvious difference, especially at times like now, when they're standing side by side on a crowded train, on the way to the shorter boy's house.

"We always hang out at your place," he'd said. "I'd like my family to meet you. They should know who I''m spending all my time with."

Seijurou couldn't really argue with that, plus he  _is_  a bit curious about how his friend lives and what his family is like.

Kuroko's house isn't even a house - it's an apartment. They have to travel four floors up before even reaching the door. "I'm home," Kuroko calls, slipping his shoes off. Seijurou recognizes that the entrance is a genkan and follows suit.

Before his parents could even greet him, a small, black and white ball of fur darts forward and leaps into Kuroko's arms, yapping excitedly. Kuroko smiles at it and strokes its fur lovingly. "This is my best friend," he explains to Seijurou. "Tetsuya Nigou."

As much as Seijurou wants to complain about the fact that Kuroko's best friend is a bloody  _dog_ , he's more confused about the name. "Why would you name your pet that?"

"Everyone says that he looks like me." Kuroko holds the dog up so Seijurou can see its face. They do strongly resemble each other. Their eyes, they have the same shape and color. It's incredibly unnerving.

"I don't see it at all," Seijurou tells him.

"Ah, really?" Kuroko sets the little mutt on the floor and leads Seijurou into the house. It's about how he imagined an apartment to be, a large kitchen/sitting room area with a hall leading to what he assumes is the washroom and bedrooms.

In the kitchen stands a bright eyed woman chopping vegetables. "Welcome home, Tetsuya," she greets, halting the knife to grin at her son. "Oh, you have a guest!"

"Akashi Seijurou," Seijurou introduces himself, bowing. "Pardon the intrusion."

"Akashi? As in snotty, better than everyone, rich family Akashi?" she inquires playfully. Seijurou does not find it amusing.

After a few seconds of Seijurou boring holes into his mother, Kuroko replies for him. "Yes, he is from that family, actually."

A look of guilt crosses the woman's face. "Oh, I'm sorry!" She laughs nervously. "I didn't really expect it to be yes. You know, since you hang out with a kid like Tetsuya..."

What does  _that_  mean? Her son isn't good enough to hang out with him? Or  _he's_  to spoiled rotten to be around her son? Seijurou is about to voice exactly what he thinks of that when Kuroko gently pulls him away.

"Ah- Food will be done in about twenty minutes!" the woman calls after them.

"Please excuse her," Kuroko says as soon as they make it to his room. "She meant no harm. She's a good person." He leaves the door open and the black and white thing follows them in. How annoying _._

Kuroko's room is a lot smaller than Seijurou's own, but there's also a lot more stuff in it. More books, posters, picture frames, some clothes on the floor. It looks a lot more lived in. Kuroko sprawls out on his bed with the dog and starts cuddling it. The way he snuggles his cute face into the stupid mutt's fur grinds at Seijurou's insides. "Come join us, Akashi-kun."

_Aw, Tetsuya likes him better than us._

Seijurou ignores the voice and shakes his head at Kuroko's question.

"What's with that look? Is Akashi-kun jealous?" Kuroko asks playfully. "Want to hold Nigou?"

"I hate dogs," Seijurou spits out. His heart clenches as his friend's face falls in disappointment.

"Oh..." He sets the dog down on the floor where it sniffs around Seijurou's feet and trots out of the room.

_If you ask me nicely, I'll get rid of that thing permanently for you, Sei-chan._

Feeling a bit sick, he gives in and sits next to his friend. Kuroko just looks at him with those big, blue orbs of his. So pretty. His gaze drops down a perfect cheek and to tasty looking pink lips. Then further and to a slender neck. He thinks it's too pale. It needs some color. Seijurou can fix that, if he just presses his mouth to it and sucks, bringing blood to the white area. His eyes travel back up to meet Kuroko's. His friend is calmly blinking at him, seemingly not bothered by Seijurou's scrutinizing stare.

Seijurou brings his hands up to Kuroko's shoulders and behind his neck, in a way it almost seems like he's hugging him. He locks his gaze on those edible lips and leans in before Kuroko has a chance to figure out what's happening.

Kuroko freezes as Seijurou kisses him, but he doesn't push away. That's good, at least. He's not entirely disgusted. Seijurou adds a little more pressure and then pulls away to judge Kuroko's reaction more thoroughly.

"T-that was sudden," the blue-haired boy remarks weakly. There's a slight red blush on his cheeks. His eyes flick to the open door. "I'd better..." He trails off and goes to shut it before returning to Seijurou, sitting facing him, one leg up on the bed, the other on the floor. "What brought that on?"

"I really like you," Seijurou confesses. He places his hands on the other's waist as Kuroko wraps his arms around his neck. "Want to try again? Kuroko nods and Seijurou gently smashes their lips together. This time the other boy kisses him back. It's a bit awkward as neither of them have any experience, but it's nice all the same.

The kiss deepens and Seijurou eases Kuroko on his back, positioning himself above him. He vaguely wonders if Kuroko is feeling as hot as he is, if there's that ache of need present in the other boy's body. Seijurou's hand leaves Kuroko's waist, instead deciding to rest on his thigh. Figuring he may as well test the waters, he slowly runs his hand further up the inside of Kuroko's leg. After a couple inches he feels Kuroko's breath hitch and stop the kiss.

Seijurou withdraws his hand. "Sorry," he mutters.

Kuroko sits up, forcing Seijurou up with him. "Um, my mother might come in without knocking," he points out.

Seijurou feels a bit rejected, but he buries the emotion. "I understand."

The rest of the day passes uneventfully. Kuroko's mother tried to joke with him through their meal and Seijurou attempted to play along to please Kuroko. She invited him to stay for dinner, but Seijurou declined. He's not ready to meet Kuroko's father.

* * *

A few days later the boys are in one of the entertainment rooms in Seijurou's house, watching a movie. They're cuddled up on one of the large cushions, Seijurou's arm around Kuroko's shoulders, Kuroko tucked into his side. Seijurou thinks the movie is boring. It's a western movie about a dog that is obviously going to die. Who cares?

Seijurou has taken to watching Kuroko. The boy doesn't make many facial expressions, not ones that are noticeable anyway, but Seijurou has be studying all the little motions he does with his face. The way his eyebrow twitches a tiny bit when he's angry, how he chews on the bottom of his lip when he's upset, the almost imperceptible way he bites the inside of his cheeks when he's annoyed and wants to say something.

At the moment, Kuroko's lip is between his teeth, Seijurou notices. Why? The dog hasn't even died yet. He leans in and plants a soft kiss to Kuroko's temple. The boy's shiny eyes stay locked on the television screen. As if he didn't even notice the kiss. This irks Seijurou. Why isn't he paying attention to him? He kisses him again, his cheek this time, and then his jaw. No response. He sticks his tongue out and licks a line up Kuroko's neck.

"That tickles," Kuroko giggles, pushing Seijurou away gently.

"Hey," Seijurou starts. "If me and Nigou were both falling to our deaths and you could only save one of us, who would you save?"

That gets his attention. He turns to Seijurou with wide eyes. "Why would you ask something like that?"

"Just answer it," Seijurou grunts, avoiding his friend's eyes. "Me or Nigou?"

Kuroko shuffles out of his arms, obviously bothered. "Don't ask me stuff like that," he demands.

Seijurou is upset at the lack of assurance. How can he not immediately answer? It's clear that he should save Seijurou. "You like me better than that dog though, right?" he asks, tugging at Kuroko's shirt.

Kuroko lets himself be pulled toward Seijurou and falls into his side. "Well, you won't find me ever making out with Nigou. That's for sure."

It's not an answer.

* * *

He's in pain. Excruciating pain. His head, there's something wrong with it. He opens his eyes to be blinded by the bright sun. Clamping them shut again, he slowly tries to sit up. He succeeds and rest his aching head in his hands before attempting to open his eyes again.

He's outside, surrounded by trees. He recognizes this place. It's the woods behind his house. Why is he out here on the ground? Why does his head hurt so bad? He lifts a hand to where the most painful spot is, tears of pain trickling from his eyes. It comes away bloody.

He studies his surroundings more carefully, trying to piece together what happened. There's slightly elevated ground to his left and a rock with a bit of red wetness on it behind him. Okay, so he can assume he somehow tripped down the hill and hit his head. Just what he needs, brain damage on top of everything else.

He stands sluggishly. His body hurts too, but not nearly as bad as his head. Why is he out here in the first place? He racks his brain, but he honestly can't remember. Maybe he had another black out? Or did the damage from the fall give him amnesia? There's quite a lot of blood. It's leaked down his neck and soaked his shirt, and it's all over his - with a start he realizes something terrifying.

_These aren't his hands._

He can't breathe. What the hell, he thinks. What the hell, what the hell, what the hell. Quickly, he checks the rest of his body. It's hard, he doesn't remember what clothes he was wearing before he blacked out so he can't tell from that. He has no mirror or cell phone on him to see his reflection. He plucks a few hairs out of his head and looks at the colour. Bright red, like his own, but that could just be from the blood.

Forgetting the pain in his head, he sprints up the small hill. He has to get home and figure out what the hell is happening, but the sight at the top of the hill makes him freeze. "Oh my God..." he mumbles out loud.

There's more blood, but not from him, and now he's sure all the blood on the hands in front of him isn't his either. In the center of the crimson pool is a small corpse, a screwdriver stabbed through its skull. There's no doubt in his mind that this body he's currently in control of did this. How fucked up, he thinks to himself. Tears find their way back into his eyes and down his face. The pain in his head sparks back up at that and he wants to openly weep, but that would make it worse. Sniffing miserably, he hides the body under a nearby bush to deal properly with later.

He forces the body he's in to make the short walk back to his house, deciding to go right in through the front door instead of sneaking. He vaguely wonders if his maids will recognize him. It seems like they do though, because as soon as he opens the door there's a loud cry of, "Seijurou-sama?!" So this must be Akashi Seijurou's body, though it doesn't belong to him.

"I don't feel well," he tells one of the women. He's sure he's quite a scary sight, covered in blood and dirt and tears that he hasn't bothered to wipe away.

The maid quickly helps Seijurou into one of the washrooms nearby. "What happened?" she asks, worried, sitting him down near the sink.

"I fell," he explains. His cranium is worse than ever, now blinding him with white hot pain. He clutches his head, not directly touching the wound, and buries his face in his knees. "I want to sleep."

"Don't sleep," she warns. Seijurou feels a cool, wet cloth on his neck. She's cleaning him up, he guesses. "You're going to the hospital."

He opens his mouth to argue against that, but he passes out before he can.

* * *

Seijurou's in a hospital room with his mother. He woke about an hour ago, feeling a lot better. His mother is sitting next to his bed, clutching his hand tightly, teary and worried. Seijurou himself isn't very worried and neither is the doctor.

"So what do you remember, Seijurou-kun?" the doctor asks politely.

"Taking a shower Friday night," he replies. "Then I woke up outside. I believe I tripped and hit my head."

The doctor looks at some papers. "And you woke today? So a few days are lost. That's usual," he reassures both Akashis. "You're memories will probably come back within a week." Yeah right, Seijurou thinks. They never do.

A nurse comes in holding a few sheets of paper and hands them to the doctor. He looks at them a few moments. "You're CT scans look fine. There's a bit of bleeding, but that seems to be clearing up. So, no permanant damage."

Seijurou's mother sighs loudly in relief. "So when can we take him home?"

The doctor doesn't answer. He's still looking at the sheets, appearing to be troubled about something. He motions the nurse over and points something out to her. She nods and leaves the room.

"W-what is it?" Seijurou's mother asks, worried by the exchange between the two. She lets go of her son and and hurries over to where the doctor is standing, wanting to know what's on the page.

"Ah..." He lowers his voice as if trying to hide what he's saying from Seijurou, though doing a poor job of it. "Are you aware of your son's mental condition? You didn't say anything about it in the papers you filled out."

"Eh?" she asks, confused. "Sei-chan doesn't have any mental conditions."

"You see this here?" The doctor shows her the scans, pointing to something. "His ventricles are larger than usual and there's less brain tissue in the hippocampal area." Seijurou makes a note to research that later. "That usually signifies a mental disorder. Mainly schizophrenia, but it's not limited to just that."

Seijurou's mother's expression turns sour. "Sei-chan is perfectly normal, thank you very much."

"Ah, I'm not saying he isn't," the doctor defends. "It's just something you might want to look into."

"He's fine," she insists. "When can we leave?"

Seijurou doesn't agree. He's not fine, but it's not because of any damn mental disorders.

* * *

He ends up going to school Tuesday, the day after his trip to the hospital. His mother insisted that he stay home and rest, but he feels too restless to stay there. Plus, he wants to see Kuroko, even if the bandage on his head gets attention. He hasn't been able to tell the boy what happened due to not having his phone. He figures it's probably still in the woods behind his house, but he hasn't been up to going out there again.

He heads into the classroom. At first he doesn't spot Kuroko, and thinks that maybe he's stayed home, but then the blue-haired boy materializes in front of him. "Hello, Kuroko," he greets.

"Akashi-kun." Kuroko's eyes find the white bandage. "What happened?" he asks, eyes wide. His eyes are a bit swollen and the rim is red.

"Just an accident. I'm fine," Seijurou promises him, leading him to their seats. "Is something wrong? You're eyes are red. Have you been crying?"

Kuroko turns his gaze away. "I called you yesterday. A few times."

"Ah, sorry, my phone is currently lost," he explains.

"It's fine," Kuroko immediately replies. "You're hurt. I understand."

"I hope you're not upset because of me." Deep down, Seijurou knows the reason for Kuroko's despair, but he doesn't want to bring suspicion onto himself. "I wouldn't be able to stand it if you're sad because I didn't answer your calls."

The shorter boy huffs. "So conceited," he complains good-naturedly. "That's not it. Nigou's missing."

"Missing?"

He nods somberly. "Yesterday morning he was just gone." Tears gather in his blue eyes, but he blinks them back. "It makes no sense. How did he get out? Plus, he's a good dog. He wouldn't leave. He'd come back."

The tears tug at Seijurou's heart. He reaches a hand out and gently grasps Kuroko's. "I'll help you look for him," he offers. "We can make posters and everything."

Kuroko smiles a beautiful smile at him. "Thank you, Akashi-kun." He squeezes Seijurou's hand. "Class is about to start," he point's out. They let go of each other and Seijurou faces front, though his mind isn't on the lesson.

* * *

They end up making a couple hundred posters and hang them up all over town. The posters have a few pictures of the mutt on it, his name, and Kuroko's information in case someone finds him. Seijurou thinks that it's a bit extreme, but he doesn't say anything. Whatever makes Kuroko happy. Though Seijurou knows that it's a wasted effort.

After him and his friend part late in the afternoon, Seijurou decides it's time to take care of the mess he left under the bush in the woods. He gathers rubber gloves, a mask for his mouth and nose, and a small shovel. He sneaks out of the house with the items, sure he'd draw suspicion if anyone saw him leave with them.

It's takes about five minutes to reach the spot. His head throbs a bit, as if it's remembering that he banged it here. He takes a few deep breaths to steady himself before putting the gloves and the mask on reluctantly. He starts by shoveling the dried blood and mixing it with the dirt it's on, making it unnoticeable. after that, he digs a small hole. Then the part that he's dreading the most.

Thankfully the corpse is still intact and scavengers haven't gotten to it yet. Good, that makes it easier, though just slightly. He takes the small ball of black and white fur in his gloved hands and holds it as far away from him as he can. Seijurou can't smell because of the mask, but he doesn't want it too close to him anyway. He briefly debates pulling the screwdriver out of the poor creature, but decides against it. That would definitely make him ill.

He feels tears prick his eyes as he sets the body in the hole. He hates this stupid dog, but it certainly didn't deserve this. It didn't even do anything wrong. Just got the affection of a boy who was loved by someone else. That wasn't fair. It wasn't even Nigou's fault.

"All you did was make Kuroko sad," Seijurou says in his head. "Now he's just going to be depressed for a long time because he's never going to know what happened to his dog."

_Ha, I like how you say that as if I did it by my own free will,_  came the reply.  _You asked me to, Sei-chan. Don't pretend you don't know._

"I would never," Seijurou spits back. "Don't lie to me."

_Why would I lie? You wanted cute Tetsuya to like you best. I understand._

"Don't call him that like you're his friend, you monster," Seijurou demands.

_Monster? That's a bit harsh. I was just following your orders like a good friend. I guess that makes you the real monster, Sei-chan._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, this is such a mess. I'm sorry OTL. I've actually been rather ill recently, so I'll blame it on that. (Though the real reason is because I'm a crappy writer.) Sorry if I disappointed you. I kind of just want to get to the end of this story already, haha. I've loads of other ideas but I promised myself I wouldn't start them until I've finished this.
> 
> I'd like to thank all the wonderful people who've left me nice replies. You guys are great and I'm very thankful! Please keep supporting me!
> 
> Also, this is unedited and I hate my writing too much to go back through and fix everything, so if you see an error, please let me know so I can fix it.
> 
> Thank you for reading and have a good day!


	4. Put Me Out part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies! I want to thank everyone who's left kudos/bookmarked/commented on this. Thank you so much. You guys make me happy :3
> 
> This chapter is a bit strange, in my own opinion. This story just keeps getting away from me and going off in its own direction, haha. I'm sorry about the characters being rather OOC. In my defense, I haven't read or watched KnB in quite a long time (minus fanfiction, but that's definitely not going to help) and since this is an AU I'm not trying particularly hard. So, sorry if it bothers you! I hope you enjoy anyway!
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains some possibly triggering content but nothing explicit.

_Seijurou's in a body much smaller than the one he has now. A child's. He's huddled in a corner of a small room - a closet, maybe - while a faceless man yells at him. The man seems very angry at him, though Seijurou doesn't understand why. He's scared and he cries as the man lifts him up by his small arms and slams him into the wall before smacking him_ very hard  _across his face._

_The scene changes and now he's running by some trees with a bundle of something in his arms. The thing is an old, brown sack with something squirming around inside of it. As he tries to calm the thing down, the sack splits and he feels small, sharp teeth sink into his left arm. He cries out in pain, tripping over his feet, trying to get the teeth out of him. The fall breaks the creature's hold on his arm and the black and white thing goes rolling across the ground. He struggles to crawl after it and grab it before it escapes._

_The scene changes again. He's in his own room this time, gazing down at a sleeping boy with pale skin and blue hair. He gently strokes the boy's face and down his neck, being careful not to wake him. He backs off a bit, making himself comfortable on the bed between the boy's legs. He runs his nails up pale thighs, leaving small, red marks. The shorts don't stop him; he just slides them up with his fingers, revealing more flesh, and oh, he wants him bad. How easy it would be to just pull those shorts off and have his way with his sleeping friend._

Seijurou jolts awake with a gasp. Breathing hard, he glaces at his surroundings. Confirming that he is indeed in his own bed, he relaxes a bit and covers his face with his hands. He's no stranger to these type of dreams, but they're still unpleasant. The first one he's very familiar with. It's usually not the same, but variations of an angry man hurting a child, always from the child's point of view. He can't help but think that these come from his body-mate's twisted mind.

The door to his room creaks open and in walks Kuroko, in shorts and a t-shirt, sipping water from a glass. He catches Seijurou's eye and says, "Oh, you're awake. I was on my way to get you."

"Kuroko?" Seijurou sits up, eyes flicking to his alarm clock. 8:23 am. "Why are you at my house so early?"

Kuroko gives him a strange look. "For someone so smart, you can be really dumb sometimes," he deadpans. "I stayed over last night, Bakashi-kun."

Seijurou shifts his gaze away from Kuroko and to his knees, hurt at the sudden insult. He doesn't remember Kuroko staying over. In fact, he remembers falling asleep in the sitting room while reading and being awoken by large hands and a deep voice, but nothing after that. He's still a bit shaky from the dream he had, so maybe he just doesn't recall it at the moment.

"Why'd you start using my family name again, anyway?" Kuroko inquires, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "You said you liked Tetsuya better."

Seijurou looks up from his knees quickly and re-meets the other boy's eyes. "I don't call you Tetsuya," he points out. "I've always used your family name."

"Why are you acting like this?" A stab of guilt shoots through Seijurou's heart at the tone. He's made Kuroko upset. "You've be using Tetsuya for a while now."

Seijurou wants to argue that, no, he certainly  _hasn't_  been calling him by his given name, but why would Kuroko be lying? What purpose would that serve? Plus, Seijurou can't even remember some things. He has no way of telling for sure that he hasn't called him Tetsuya before. Especially when, Seijurou realises, a certain other person has taken to calling the blue-haired boy in such a friendly manner.

"Concussed, remember?" he quickly excuses, reaching up to rub his head. The bandage is no longer there. "What's today's date?" he asks, just to confirm something.

Kuroko thinks for a moment. "The eighteenth, I believe."

Dread settles itself in Seijurou's stomach as he quickly does the math. Two weeks, he thinks. I've lost two weeks. He bites his bottom lip hard, trying to stop the horrible feeling of wanting to cry from overtaking his body. Two entire weeks. Usually his blackouts last a couple of hours, no more than a day, bar the last time when he hit his head. And they usually don't happen so close together, one or two a year, maybe. Is that other guy getting more powerful? Or is Seijurou's mind just getting weaker?

Kuroko scoots closer, a concerned expression on his face. "You don't look very well," he speaks, placing a hand on Seijurou's forehead. "Here, drink this. I'm going to go get a washcloth."

The glass of water Kuroko was holding is forced into Seijurou's hands and the bed shifts as Kuroko gets up and pads out of the room. Seijurou gulps down the water. It does make him feel better. He didn't even notice how hot he was before. He goes to place the empty cup on his bedside table, but it slips out of his his shaky hand and smashes into pieces on the floor. He notices a small scar on his forearm. When did he get that? Mustn't have been long ago. Maybe when he fell in the woods. It looks an awful lot like teeth marks. Dog teeth, perhaps.

Two weeks, he thinks as he slides out of bed and kneels on the floor in front of the broken glass. Two entire fucking weeks. He slowly picks up the largest shard and squeezes it till it hurts. He's angry, more angry than he's ever been. The memory of hands on Kuroko's pale thighs flashes behind his eyes and his insides burn with disgust. Why was he touching Kuroko that way? While he was freaking  _sleeping_.

"Fuck you," he says in his head, speaking to the person that that memory belongs to. "Stay away from him." The glass in his hand snaps in two and cuts sharply into his palm. He scrunches his eyes shut and hits the floor and other bits of the broken cup with his fist. Fire is burning in his stomach. "He's not yours. He's mine. You don't get to touch him. You don't get to touch him youdontgettotouchhimyoudontgettotouchhimYOU DON'T GET TO TOUCH HIM."

"Akashi-kun!"

He's brought out of his rage by the voice and the fast footsteps of someone behind him. The pain of the glass being forced into his skin hits him and he stills his movements.

Kuroko slumps to his knees next to him and grabs his injured hand, carefully wrapping the wet cloth that was intended for his head around it. He brings a trembling hand to Seijurou's cheek and lightly caresses it with his thumb. "What's wrong?"

Seijurou opens his eyes and Kuroko's troubled features swim into view. His hand hurts. He can feel the blood seeping through the cloth and onto the floor, leaving red drops on the wood. He realises his eyes are wet and he leans into Kuroko's chest, hiding his face in his shirt. How embarrassing, he thinks. Kuroko is definitely going to think he's crazy now. Hopefully his rage stayed silent and none of his thoughts slipped out. He might actually die if Kuroko walked in on him yelling like a maniac.

Kuroko lurches a bit at the sudden impact to his chest, but he quickly steadies himself and wraps his arms around Seijurou, one hand stroking his hair softly. "What's wrong?" he asks again. "Are those tears of pain from your hand or are you sad?"

Seijurou doesn't respond, afraid that if he says anything he might start outright sobbing. His insides hurt. Kuroko spent two weeks with him, without actually being with him. Happy weeks, it seems. It's not fair. Why does that guy have to ruin everything? Why does he have to try to take Kuroko away? He's already favoured by his mother. Why his only friend too? "Please just leave him alone," he pleads silently. "Don't ruin this."

But what if he's not trying to steal Kuroko? What if he's preparing to hurt him? Seijurou wouldn't be able to do anything to stop it. He can't even watch when they guy takes over. He completely blacks out. The thought makes him almost throw up, so he squeezes his fist again, the pain counteracting the sick feeling.

"Do you want me to get someone?" Kuroko tries, despite the lack of response. " Your mom, maybe?" Seijurou shakes his head. "Okay. Do you want to just stay like this?" Seijurou nods. "Only for a couple more minutes though. We need to take care of your hand."

Seijurou calms in Kuroko's warm hold, soothed by the soft rubbing on his back. He tries to regulate his breathing, so he doesn't sound so emotional when he says, "I should tell you." He should. He should tell Kuroko all about his fucked up 'friend', how to tell the difference between the two of them, to stay away when he isn't Seijurou. When he calls him Tetsuya and not Kuroko.

"Tell me what?" he urges when Seijurou doesn't continue.

But Seijurou doesn't have the courage to. What if Kuroko doesn't want to be around him after finding out? Seijurou wouldn't be able to handle that. He's a big baby. A little scaredy-cat. A wimp who needs to get over his pathetic crap and act like a man worthy of the name Akashi. Yes, someone who won't let a bastard control their shared body. That guy must be able to so easily now because Seijurou has gotten too sensitive. Wiping his eyes roughly with his good hand, he pushes away from Kuroko and sits up straight. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Eh?" Kuroko lets out. "Please do not bring up telling me something and then fail to do so. It's annoying."

Seijurou laughs and suddenly things are a lot less tense. For him, anyway. His friend still looks wary. He starts picking shards of glass out of his hand, wincing a bit. Kuroko cleans up the glass and blood from the floor.

"Are you really okay?" Kuroko asks after the room is glass free and Seijurou's hand is bandaged up. "If you're depressed about something, you can tell me, you know."

"I know," Seijurou sniffs. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that. It was really nothing. Just a bad dream." He isn't completely lying. He just wants to forget it happened. Kuroko still looks concerned, so Seijurou takes his hand in his good one and plants a soft kiss on his forehead. "You're really cute."

Kuroko's cheeks turn pink and he looks away bashfully. "Akashi-kun is the cute one," he mutters to the floor. He regains his composure and tugs Seijurou's hand. "Come on. One of the nice ladies was making breakfast while I was downstairs. That was my original reason for coming up here to wake you."

Seijurou smiles, actually feeling good. "Then let's go, my adorable Kuroko Tetsuya." And they proceed to spend the rest of the day smiling and joking with each other, though the worry never left Kuroko's eyes.

* * *

A few days later they find themselves at an old, weathered park. It's just starting to get dark so there's no children around. Just Seijurou and Kuroko, sitting on a swing under the stars. Seijurou's sitting on the faded plastic regularly while Kuroko sits in his lap, facing him, his legs on either side of Seijurou's hips. It's an intimate position and Seijurou is happy that's he's the one with Kuroko, getting lost in those blue orbs.

"You have such gorgeous eyes," Seijurou tells him for probably the millionth time. It's true though.

"I don't," Kuroko says, modest as ever. "Akashi-kun's the one with the really nice eyes. They're different colours."

"Huh? They're the same." His eyes are red, they've always been red.

"They're different," Kuroko insists. "This one is red." A touch under his right eye. "And this one is gold." A touch under his left.

Seijurou turns his eyes down. "The same." That other guy is the one with gold and he's unreasonably hurt that Kuroko can't tell the difference.

"Ah, so stubborn," the blue-eyed boy complains monotonously. "So annoying." He slumps into Seijurou as if out of energy from arguing and the swing sways a bit, the metal chain squeaking quietly. Seijurou wraps his arms around Kuroko's waist, holding him close.

"Hey," Kuroko starts, sitting up properly. "You need to come have dinner at my house sometime. You should meet my dad."

"Why?" Seijurou grunts in reply.

"Because I want you to," he answers. "I think you two will get along well. He already likes you for helping me with my grades." Seijurou doesn't reply so Kuroko branches off on a slightly different track. "You know, all the time I spend at your house, I've never met  _your_  dad."

Instead of responding to that, he asks, "Do your parents know about us?"

"No. I'm not sure how they would take it." Kuroko snuggles into Seijurou. "I don't think my father would mind very much, but I know my mother wants grandchildren and I'm an only child."

"I'm sure mine would disown me," Seijurou says. He presses Kuroko as close as he can to his body. He's so warm and soft and Seijurou wishes he could just stay against him forever.

"I don't think your mom would," Kuroko tells him. "She seems too nice. And she obviously loves you more than anything." He chuckles quietly. "It's really sweet how close you two are, to be honest."

"We're not close," Seijurou defends. "She just likes to smother me. It's a bit annoying." Even though he does occasionally enjoy the attention, he's not going to admit that. "She wanted me to take a bath with her the other day."

"That's a bit much, but it's still nice," the blue-haired boy states. He wriggles out of Seijurou's tight hold and places his hands on Seijurou's chest to keep himself steady against the rocking of the swing. "I want to take a bath with Akashi-kun too."

It's a bold statement and Seijurou can't help but nip playfully at Kuroko's plump lip. "Maybe next time." He knows his friend is probably just joking, but Seijurou means it. He's definitely into the idea of being in a bath with Kuroko. After his short sentence, his lips return to Kuroko's soft ones. He slides his hands up Kuroko's back to his neck and deepens the kiss, but then returns his hands to their previous spot on his hips. He pries Kuroko's lips apart with his tongue invades his mouth. It's a bit weird, licking the inside of someone's mouth, but he tastes sweet, like mint maybe. Kuroko tangles his tongue with Seijurou's. It's messy, but Seijurou likes it. The hands he has settled on Kuroko's hips move closer to his back and he presses Kuroko into himself.

Kuroko gasps audibly into Seijurou's mouth at the pressure. The sound triggers something in Seijurou, a warm tingle he can't quite explain. He just knows he wants to feel it again, so he pushes the blue-haired boy's hips against his, a little more forcefully this time. A nice feeling shoots through him and he has to wonder - is Kuroko feeling this as well? Judging by the bated breath coming from the boy, he is.

Seijurou's jeans feel tight and he wants more. He's never been a particularly sexual person - never interested him much - but right here, with Kuroko, he  _wants._  He's not sure what exactly, but he definitely likes this feeling. It's not the same kind of sick want he felt in the dream of the other guy's flashbacks. No, it feels different, like instead of wanting selfish pleasure he wants Kuroko to feel good too. Kuroko moves against him with Seijurou's help and the feeling builds a bit, then there's a loud whoosh of air, a thump, and pain.

Seijurou goes temporarily blind as the back of his skull smacks hard into the ground beneath the swing. There's a weight on him that he assumes is Kuroko that mutters, "Ouch, my knees," before lifting off of him. Seijurou sits up, gingerly holding the back of his head, and buries his face into his bent knees, fighting off the sick feeling in his stomach from the pain. It's not nearly as bad as when he fell in the woods, but pain is pain.

"O-oh, your head," Kuroko says softly, moving to sit next to Seijurou, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" Seijurou nods into his knees, eyes still squeezed shut against the pain. "Of course you're not," Kuroko frets. "You just got over a head injury and now you're probably concussed again. I'm calling for an ambulance."

Seijurou reaches out and grabs Kuroko's hand that's heading for his pocket. "No, I'm fine," he insists. "No blood. It's okay, just hurts a little." Even though he probably  _is_  concussed again, having a hospital trip twice in one month is definitely embarrassing. He's not a child. He can take care of himself.

The blue-eyed boy looks unconvinced, but doesn't push the ambulance idea. He does, however, carefully kiss the back of Seijurou's head. "Any better?"

It's such an innocent, child-like thing to do that Seijurou laughs out loud. "Yeah, a lot better, thanks," he assures, not entirely lying. He's definitely going to have a serious headache, but he no longer feels sick. "Major mood-killer, though."

"Ah, yeah," Kuroko shrugs, turning his head away. He's embarrassed, Seijurou concludes, about their little make out session. It was a little heavy to do in a public place, despite no one else being around.

Kuroko checks his phone and sighs. "We should probably get home. I don't want to miss the last train."

Seijurou had completely forgotten that his friend takes the train when he wants to go somewhere. It was always just a quick phone call away to get a ride for himself, as long as his chauffeurs are on the clock. Seijurou lives close enough to this park to walk though, and he knows Kuroko will refuse making the chauffeurs go out of their way for him. "Let me walk you to the station, then," he suggests.

"No thank you," Kuroko rejects instantly. "I'm walking you home in case you have a brain hemorrhage and die on the way or something." He stands and holds a hand out to help Seijurou up. "I can make it to the station myself."

Seijurou takes the offered hand and is hauled to his feet. "I'm fine," he mumbles, but decides against arguing. He wouldn't win anyway. Keeping ahold of Kuroko's warm hand, he starts to lead the way to his house.

The walk there is mostly without talk. The two of them just enjoy each other's presence without the need for conversation. That's what Seijurou loves about this kid. He can feel completely comfortable around him without awkward, forced small talk. And the way Kuroko doesn't judge him is a beautiful asset. He knows Seijurou is from a high class family and he yet he treats him like any old friend. He knows Seijurou is a little - really - bad with people. He doesn't seem to mind that either, and even helps when he can. If only Seijurou had the guts to tell him about the other Akashi. Maybe he could help with that too. They could both make fun of how stupid wanting to be called Emperor is, and the ridiculous obsession he has with their mother. They could laugh at everything he does, maybe make him want to stay hidden forever, and then Seijurou could be free. It could be just Seijurou and Kuroko, alone forever.

He mulls over the possibilities. What if Kuroko completely rejects him after finding out? He might think it's creepy, or that he's crazy or making stuff up. He gives a sideways glance to the gorgeous boy next to him. The teen is humming quietly and gently caressing Seijurou's hand with his thumb. That doesn't seem likely, but does he really want to risk it at this point?

They round the last corner and Seijurou's house comes in to view. "It still fascinates me that this is still Japan," Kuroko states rather randomly as they come up to the front gate. "It's so big and modern. I like it a lot."

"It's not bad," Seijurou agrees offhandedly. He takes both of Kuroko's hands in his, making the other boy face him. "There's something I want to tell you."

Kuroko looks up at him with wide, expecting eyes. "What is it? he urges. "And you'd better not say it's nothing this time."

Seijurou gazes down into those eyes, biting his lip with hesitation. What's he doing? He doesn't even know, but he wants to say it so badly. "I..." He trails off for a moment, taking a deep breath before blurting out something he's not even expecting to say. "I love you."

His own breath catches in his throat at the confession as he looks into those brilliant, blue orbs, deep and full of surprise. Kuroko's pale lips are slightly parted as he takes in what Seijurou just admitted to.

"That's the kind of thing you should say before trying to bone me in a public park."

Seijurou is taken aback at the absurd reply. It certainly isn't what he was expecting and he feels his heart start to pulse painfully. Is he being turned down? What kind of a response is that? Then he sees the almost-smile on Kuroko's lips and nearly bursts out laughing. So much for thinking he was embarrassed earlier!

"Sorry, I feel really shy all of a sudden and that was the first thing that popped into my head," the boy tries to excuse.

He's so cute Seijurou can barely stand it. He lets go of the boy's hand, choosing to instead wrap his arms around slim shoulders and buries his nose into soft, blue locks and the white flesh of his neck, breathing in the distant scent of cheap shampoo. "So, do you...?" He leaves the question hanging.

He feels Kuroko return the hug and nod against him. "I do."

Good, Seijurou thinks. He still feels a bit embarrassed. How did he let that slip out? The setting isn't even romantic. Kuroko deserves a better love confession for sure, but there's nothing he can do about it now except be glad his feelings are reciprocated. He revels in the warmth and comfort of the hug for another couple of minutes, then nudges Kuroko. "Your parents are going to worry."

"You're right," Kuroko agrees, breaking the embrace, fingers still lingering by Seijurou's waist. "Ah, I'm so happy I feel like crying. So shameful," he says uncomfortably, keeping his head down.

Seijurou grabs Kuroko's chin lifts it softly, forcing him to show his handsome face. "Nothing you do is shameful," he remarks. "You're adorable."

Kuroko breaks away and rubs at his watery eyes. "Stop being so sincere or I'm really going to cry," he jokes.

"Okay, I'll stop," Seijurou chuckles. "Just give me a kiss."

Kuroko makes a face but complies, pecking him on the cheek. "I'll see you later, Akashi-kun," he promises, turning and heading back down the path. Seijurou watches him until he takes a corner and disappears from view.

* * *

"Are you ever going to introduce me to your dad?" The question comes out of no where. It's lunchtime and they decided to eat outside today, under the shade of a large tree. "I've talked to your mom multiple times as well as your maids and chauffeurs. I want to meet the head of my boyfriend's family."

"I won't," Seijurou responds. It's a reoccurring discussion, and honestly he's sick of it. Kuroko should just drop it, but the blue-head is stubborn, as Seijurou knows very well. He's the same way. It's what makes them such good conversational partners.

"But I don't understand why not," he complains, in that expressionless way of his. "You've met my entire family."

Seijurou scoops some fried rice up with his chopsticks and forces it into Kuroko's mouth. He's noticed that when the shorter teen starts on something like this, he doesn't eat. Seijurou's made it his mission to make sure he eats at least half of his lunch every day, even if it interrupts their conversation. "I have my reasons," he informs Kuroko.

Kuroko swallows the rice quickly. "What is your reason, then?"

Seijurou sighs. "Will you just give up already?" he asks, already knowing the answer. Sure enough, the boy shakes his head. He sighs again, this time with defeat. "Fine. I won't introduce you to him because I've never met him."

"Eh?" They blue-eyed boy blinks, confused. "You live in the same house as him, Akashi-kun, I'm not going to believe that."

"Believe what you want. It's true," he mumbles bitterly. And it is true. The sixteen years he's been alive, he's never once met the man called his father, despite living under the same roof. "Never even seen the guy."

An awkward silence envelops the two. Kuroko takes a few bites of his lunch and Seijurou finishes his, still feeling bitter. He knows he shouldn't be angry. If it was Kuroko hiding something like that, he'd be furious, so he can't blame him. They're good enough friends that he doesn't need to do something awkward like apologize though. They'll be back to usual soon. During the silence he takes to watching the shorter boy eat. He pokes through his food like a picky child, Seijurou notices. Skipping over certain food as if he doesn't like it, though since it's his own lunch, he must like everything.

The short silence is broken by Kuroko. "That's sad, Akashi-kun. I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Seijurou grunts in reply. "If he wants to see me, he knows where I am." The man is definitely aware of his existence, Seijurou knows. He makes sure the maids reinforce his stupid rules of no video games and no unapproved extracurricular activities. It just irks Seijurou that his father won't ever talk to him face to face. It's always the maids with, "Seijurou-sama, your father said this," and "The head said that."

Kuroko seems to contemplate something, biting the point of his chopstick. "Have you ever  _tried_  to meet him?" he asks. "Like waiting outside his office door or something?"

"I have," Seijurou admits. He vaguely remembers standing outside the large, decorative doors he knew must belong to the head, for hours, waiting, just to catch a glimpse of him and maybe ask if he wants to play. He can recall being summoned by his father, but he doesn't remember the outcome, just that he never met with him. "I stopped trying to get his attention years ago."

The atmosphere is starting to feel awkward. Seijurou knows that Kuroko is pitying him, but he doesn't want him to. It's just how he grew up. He's used to it. He tries to think of a casual way to change the conversation. It turns out he doesn't have to; Kuroko does it for him.

"You know that math lesson today? I didn't understand it. Please teach me."

* * *

Seijurou soon discovers that Kuroko has a bully.

It's one of their homeroom classmates. He sits two seats to the right of Seijurou. There's nothing special about him, so Seijurou hasn't even noticed his existence. Until one day while he's walking down the hall before class starts, he sees a very peculiar scene.

To the average person, it may just seem like a group of friends having a casual chat, but Seijurou picks up on the way Kuroko bites the inside of his cheeks, the way he does when he's not happy. The culprit says something Seijurou can't hear and gestures rudely to the blue-haired boy, who's up against the wall. The nearby people laugh loudly and Kuroko manages to break away from the group, heading for the classroom, it would seem.

"Ah, don't be such a pussy!" the rude teen shouts, trailing after Kuroko and not-so-gently shoves him into the room. He then turns and heads back to his friends, seeing how there's still a few minutes until class officially begins.

Seijurou unfreezes his legs and also heads for the classroom. Even though he knows Kuroko's seat is just one spot behind his own, it still takes him a moment to lock his eyes on the boy. Deciding to be casual about it, he sets his bag down and sits before questioning his friend.

"I just saw a rather strange scene outside the classroom," he hints, turning backwards in his chair in order to face Kuroko.

"Ah, did you?" he intones in a similar manor. So Kuroko-like, Seijurou thinks.

Instead of continuing with their fake ignorance, he requests, "Care to explain what that was?"

Kuroko's eyes shift away from Seijurou, as if he's bored of the conversation. "Takahashi-kun was just using me to make himself look cool," he explains like it's an everyday process. The teacher enters the room along with the last of the students, but Seijurou keeps his back turned.

"You mean he was making fun of you," Seijurou growls, anger boiling up in him.

"If you want to put it that way, yes."

Seijurou wants to slam his closed fist down on Kuroko's desk. Why is he being so nonchalant about this? He shouldn't let people treat him this way, especially that trash. Mostly he's mad at himself. How could he not notice? He's been hanging out with Kuroko for a couple months now and never realized the kid was being bullied. Didn't even realize that Kuroko ever talked to anyone else.

"Class is now beginning," the teacher announces, taking her spot at the front of the room. Kuroko attempts to look around Seijurou to pay attention to the teacher, but the red-head is not going to be ignored.

"I'm not done here," he says, reaching across the desk to nudge his friend's arm, drawing his attention back to himself. "How long has this been going on?"

"Since the start of high school," the blue-haired boy confessed. "It doesn't bother me so it shouldn't bother Akashi-kun either." This time when he looks past Seijurou his eyes stay there, not even twitching at the hand in his face.

"Akashi!" the woman up front barks at him. "Turn around. I'm not going to tell you to pay attention, but please stop distracting other students."

You can't tell me what to do, Seijurou almost says. Not wanting to cause a scene, he bites his tongue and faces front, slightly embarrassed that he of all people got called out in class. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see that brat - Takahashi, was it? - smirking, and he feels the fury in him worsen. What a piece of shit. The next time he sees that guy go anywhere near Kuroko, he is definitely not going to hold back.

Seijurou isn't lying when he tells himself he's just going to talk; he really means it. As much as he would like to bash the little bastard's head in, he doesn't feel like violence is a healthy way to deal with this. And there's the fact that Takahashi is bigger than him.

"I would like you to leave Kuroko Tetsuya alone," he tells the guy when he finds a moment where he's not with his group of friends. He spots Kuroko a bit down the hall, presumably heading to class because he's not one to linger around. Seijurou hopes he gets into the classroom and doesn't see them.

"Oh? Why?" Takahashi asks, leaning up against the wall, glancing uninterested at Seijurou.

"I don't like you so I don't want you speaking to him," he says slowly, as if speaking to a child.

The bully spies Kuroko over Seijurou's shoulder and calls him over. "Oi! Come here!" The blue-haired boy saunters over, eyeing the two suspiciously. Takahashi unkindly throws an arm around his neck and pulls him close. "Tell this guy me and you are good friends."

"Please let go of me, Takahashi-kun," Kuroko asks, polite as ever, despite having an arm around his throat.

"Aw, don't be like that." The bully tightens his hold and rubs a fist into sky-blue hair. The uncomfortable look on Kuroko's face makes Seijurou's blood boil.

"Stop touching him," Seijurou commands, taking a step towards them. Takahashi gives him a smirk and continues with his harrassment. Well, if he isn't going to listen. Seijurou reaches a hand out and grabs the offending arm, squeezing tightly. "Let go."

The smirk drops from Takahashi's face. "What's your problem?" he snarls.

Seijurou tightens his hold, digging his nails into the soft flesh until the bastard rips his arm away. Kuroko stumbles forward a bit and Seijurou extends an arm to steady him. He quickly checks his friend over for any harm before returning his attention to Takahashi. "Stay away," he warns. "I promise you won't like the consequences if you continue to mess with him."

Takahashi studies Seijurou for a moment, assessing how serious he is. He takes a step back, seemingly giving up, but he says something before he leaves, not heading in the direction of the classroom. "You better watch yourself. Me and my boys could beat the shit out of both of you and there's nothing you could do to stop them. Fucking fags."

The vulgar word doesn't bother Seijurou. It's not like he actually knows about their relationship, he just used it because he couldn't think of anything else. What really bothers him is the fact that he threatened Kuroko. Sure, he threatened Seijurou too, but he can take care of himself. Kuroko probably wouldn't fight back. He'd just stand there and take it.

"You should have just left it, Akashi-kun," Kuroko huffs. Not really what Seijurou was expecting. Where's the gratitude? "I'm not a child. I don't need you to protect me." He turns away and heads for the classroom.

"Sorry for trying to help," Sejurou snaps at his back, though he understands the anger. Maybe he's ashamed of having someone fight his battles. But really, if Kuroko is mad at anyone, it should be at that bastard Takahashi. How fucking dare that guy. Messing with someone like Kuroko. And now Kuroko is upset with him, even though he was just trying to help.

Damn it. His mind feels wrong, like he doesn't know exactly what he's thinking. He knows one thing for sure though; Takahashi has to pay.

"You hear that?" he says in his head. "I'm giving you permission."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, what's going to happen? (That was sarcasm.) I promise Akashi isn't going to turn into a murderer or anything. I know that this story is probably getting boring and repetitive, but I'm kinda letting it go wherever it wants at the moment. Getting all my thoughts out, even though this was originally supposed to be a very short, fast-paced story. The actually plot will probably start in a couple of chapters. (Maybe.) So sorry about that.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Please leave your thoughts on the way out *heart* (Also sorry for any mistakes. I'm tired and haven't edited it yet.)


	5. Put Me Out part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long for me to post this chapter. I said I would days ago OTL. I suddenly got depressed and lost my ability to write so it was postponed. But thank you all for the comments! You have no idea how happy I am to read them. You are all so sweet and deserve many hugs. Thank you!

Seijurou's face smashes into the ground and he feels his chin split open. He's temporarily confused how he tripped - he's walked up and down this street loads of times before - but when he's yanked up by his arm, he understands. He's being attacked. Thinking quickly, he turns a bit to his left and thusts his left foot into the fat stomach of his attacker. It's a grown man, he realizes in fear. There's only one thing a man would attack a high school boy for and,  _no_ , he is absolutely not going to let that happen to himself.

The man grunts at the kick, but doesn't let go of his arm. "Hold still, you brat, or you're going to be in a lot more trouble than you already are," he warns.

Seijurou doesn't care; he'd rather be killed than let this sick man have his way. "Get your hands off me!" he demands, trying to hide his terror behind a tone of authority. He tries to kick again, but the man yanks him closer so he can't get a good angle. Instead, he throws all his weight to the ground, hoping to knock the man off his feet, or at least loosen his grip. Seijurou isn't very big, so it doesn't work as well as he would have liked and he's not able to break free. The man grabs his other arm and pins him.

There's a strong smell of something unpleasant - gasoline? - and it's making him want to throw up. He's still struggling to get away from his attacker, but with no results. Tears press at the back of his eyes and he feels blood dribble down from his chin. Is he actually going to be raped and murdered? Him, Akashi Seijurou, the heir of one of the most wealthy families in Japan.

"Can you help me with this kid?" the man calls out to someone. "He won't stop struggling."

"Yes, I'm here," a new, vaguely familiar voice replies. Now there's for sure no way he's going to escape. He can't even properly fight off one, let alone two. "I'm sorry it took so long for a response. I didn't want to send in one of the female associates without knowing the situation."

Huh? Seijurou's very confused now as he watches the school principal come into view and crouch down next to him. His surroundings finally register in his brain and he realizes he's in a classroom, not out taking a walk. Oh. He stops fighting the hands on him, realizing that the man is probably a teacher, not a stranger with malicious intent. The adrenaline that was blazing in his veins is no longer in control and his hands start shaking from the after affects of being frightened.

"Ahh, Akashi-kun," the principal sighs. "You've gotten into some trouble, haven't you?" He gestures for the other man to let him go. Seijurou sits up properly, a bit ashamed at being found pinned to the floor. "Make sure that other kid is okay and bring him to my office." The fact there there is another person in the room is brought to Seijurou's attention. Takahashi, wet and cowering in the corner. The man grunts in reply and hastily escorts him out.

Blood from Seijurou's chin drips down and stains his uniform shirt. He wonders how bad the gash is. There's quite a lot of blood, but it don't sting much. The principal notices the blood and quickly whips a white handkerchief from his suit pocket and presses it into the cut. "Hold that there," he commands. "Follow me."

Seijurou nods and complies. Other than his chin, his shoulder hurts from the fat man pulling his arm. Everything else seems fine, though, so he doubts he had a physical fight with Takahashi. Apparently something happened or he wouldn't be here, but he expectedly can't remember what.

There's a small crowd of students and teachers out in the hall, faces bright with interest. To his amusement, a couple of the students take a step back when he walks past. A satisfied feeling fills him and he walks with his head held high. He's not sure what happened, but if the other students are scared it must have been good.

"Sit here." The principal points to a cushioned bench outside of his office. "I'm going to call your parents and have a chat with Takahashi-kun while we wait for them to arrive."

Good luck getting them here, Seijurou thinks, taking a seat on the bench. He distantly wonders what time it is. There's no clock within view of the bench and he didn't bother to look while in the classroom. Either lunch or after school, probably, due to the amount of people in the hall and the empty classroom he was in. He isn't able to ponder long though; a familiar, blue-haired boy sits down lightly next to him.

"What is wrong with you?" he hisses at Seijurou. He looks passive as usual, but Seijurou can see the fury burning in those blue eyes.

Seijurou shrugs. You don't want to know, he thinks. "I was just getting revenge." He rearranges the cloth held to his chin so the blood doesn't dry and stick to his skin. "It's not like anyone got badly injured, so it's fine, right?"

"You could have  _killed_  him, Akashi-kun," Kuroko stressed, eyes wide and serious.

Killed? Takahashi looked fine to Seijurou. A bit scared, maybe, but that's long way off from hurt. "Ah, really?"

Kuroko gives him a slightly confused look. " _Yes._  You can't do things like that to people without expecting them to possibly die. Do you not understand that? Or do you just not care? As long as your stupid pride isn't hurt you'd do anything, right?"

"What the hell did you do?" he asks in his head. Out loud, he says, "Do you really think I'd try to kill someone?"

He doesn't hear Kuroko's reply because someone else speaks.  _Just what you asked, Sei-chan. Figure it out._

"I didn't ask you to murder anyone," he points out in his mind. "Don't lie."

_I wasn't intending on taking it that far, but he really pissed me off. Acting as if our family is garbage. He's the real garbage, so I was just going to incinerate him. It's what you do with trash, you know._

"You are insane."

_Am I really the crazy one, Sei-chan?_

He forgot that he's supposed to be having a conversation with Kuroko until he feels a tug on his shirt sleeve. "You're not even listening to me," the blue-haired boy states.

"You are," Seijurou replies accidentally. "I mean I am." He makes a point of looking attentively at Kuroko. Having two conversations at the same time is a bit hard, especially when one person talks over the other. "I just couldn't hear you."

A concerned look flashes on Kuroko's face. "Couldn't hear me over what, Akashi-kun?" Seijurou doesn't have a reply for that, so he turns eyes away and shrugs. He wonders who his parents are going to send over to talk to the principal. Or maybe his mother will show up, though that's unlikely. Kuroko is still staring at him with serious eyes. "What's wrong with you?" he asks, going back to his original question.

_Go ahead and blame me. I don't mind._

Seijurou runs his fingers through his hair and tries to smile at Kuroko, wanting to get that serious expression off his cute face. "My head's just a bit messed up right now."

Kuroko's expression doesn't change. "Please elaborate." Seijurou doesn't answer so Kuroko continues. "How can your whole personality change within the space of an hour? You constantly go between acting like a high and mighty brat and acting like the sweet friend that I love. I just have to wonder what one's the real Akashi-kun."

He's so close to the truth that Seijurou just wants to tell him. But he won't, not here in front of the principal's office. He doesn't need others overhearing. He can trust Kuroko to keep a secret. Others will spread rumours of how Akashi Seijurou is crazy, and if those rumours reach his father, who knows what will happen. He spies one of his butlers down the hall, heading towards him and Kuroko.

Kuroko follows Seijurou's line of sight and sighs. "Guess we will continue this later. Good luck, Akashi-kun." He stands and smiles politely as the butler comes near. "Good afternoon, Tanaka-san."

"Good afternoon to yourself as well, Kuroko-kun," Tanaka replies, equally polite. Seijurou stands up as well, nodding his goodbye at Kuroko before leading his butler to the receptionist. It only took a few seconds before they were admitted into the principal's office.

"Come and have a seat," the principal greeted as they stepped in, gesturing to a couple of chairs on the other side of his large desk. The fat teacher is also in the room, standing near the corner looking smug. Takahashi isn't around, so he probably got sent home after telling his side of the story. Seijurou sits, but Tanaka opts to stand behind him, hands resting on his shoulders. "I'd really prefer to have one of Akashi-kun's parents here."

"Seijurou-sama's mother is here, but as she is feeling ill I've requested her to stay in the car," Tanaka explains. Seijurou knows about his mom's poor health as of late, so it doesn't worry him too much to hear it.

The principal grumbles about that, but there isn't anything he can do. "I'm assuming you know what happened?"

"I'm well aware, yes," Tanaka replies coolly. "I would like to know what type of action you are going to be taking."

"Well," the principal starts loudly. "The other boy's mother wants to get the police involved, though I don't want to, because it'll create more problems. Expulsion seems to be the easiest solution." Seijurou's stomach flips. Expulsion? Police?

"By all means, get the police involved," Tanaka remarks. "Expelling him is not necessary."

"Ah..." The principal looks lost. "But the judge will end up having him expelled anyway. If we just do it now-"

Tanaka interrupts suddenly. "Seijurou-sama, how did you get hurt?"

Slightly shocked at being invited into the conversation, he looks up at his butler, shifting the handkerchief on his chin. He doesn't think it's bleeding anymore, but he doesn't want the bloody cut exposed. "That man over there knocked me to the floor," he recounts, pointing at the fat teacher. "He also pulled on my arm and kept me pinned to the floor. I think there's some bruising."

Tanaka looks pointedly at the principal. "I'm sure the court will be more interested in the fact that an employee caused bodily harm to an underaged student."

"I was trying to stop the little brat from doing more damage!" the teacher sputters in defense, no longer looking smug. "I was protecting another student!"

"It doesn't matter," is the instant reply. "The Akashi family lawyers are  _very_  good. You will be fired."

The teacher tries to think of a retort but can't. He looks toward the principal, worried, for help with the issue. The principal eyes Tanaka suspiciously. "Is this  _blackmail_  I detect?" he questions.

"It is indeed," the butler confesses. A warm fondness fills Seijurou. When did Tanaka become so cool? "Seijurou-sama will not be expelled, nor will the police be involved."

The principal sighs irritably, shuffling some papers around on his desk. "What am I supposed to tell Takahashi-kun's mother?" he growls angrily. "She's not going to-"

"Tell her her son is a bully and deserved everything he got," Seijurou interjects. It's the truth. "He's been harassing my friend for months, apparently. And he threatened me."

The principal stops messing with the papers and glances up at him. "Why didn't your friend come forward with this?"

"He's too kind. He didn't want to start anything." The first is definitely true, but he's not sure about the second. It doesn't matter much anyway. "You should pay more attention to your students." He stands and starts to head for the door. What a freaking pushover that principal turned out to be.

"W-wait!" the said pushover calls after him. "I can't let you off the hook completely! Two weeks suspension. I'll do the paperwork and stuff, just don't come to class for the next fourteen days, okay?"

Whatever. Seijurou quickly makes his way through the school and to the front doors, knowing that's probably where Tanaka parked. He tosses the dirty handkerchief into a trash bin on the way. He really wants to talk to Kuroko, but if his mother is in the car, then he's probably going to be lectured the whole way home and not have time.

"Seijurou-sama." He already has a hand on the front door when he hears his name. "You're going to scare your mother if she sees you like that." Oh yeah, the blood. Tanaka whips out his own handkerchief - a red one - and wets it with water from a nearby drinking fountain. He motions for Seijurou to come closer and cleans away the dried blood from his chin and neck. Seijurou is torn between feeling like a child and feeling like he's royalty. (An emperor, his subconscious thinks.)

"I'm afraid I can't do anything about your shirt," Tanaka says, apparently thinking that that's something Seijurou actually cares about. "Let's go." He tucks the handkerchief back into his suit pocket. "Your mother is waiting."

And indeed his mother is waiting for him in the back of the car, looking tired. He sits next to her, expecting her to either hug him or fret about his chin. But she doesn't; she just looks at him with those tired eyes. "I don't know what to do with you anymore," she sighs.

Seijurou's not expecting such a glum comment. He thought maybe she would be angry at him and maybe scold him for a few minutes, but then everything would be back to normal. But she said it so exhausted, like she's been up for days. He doesn't know what to say back to her, so he just stares down at his knees.

"I can put up with a lot of things," she continues. "Like when you were younger. That incident with the puppy. Do you remember, Sei-chan? I didn't like it, but it was just an animal." Seijurou shudders at the memory of all the blood. "I tried to help you, and I thought it was working, but this...trying to set someone on fire..."

So that's what happened. He'd assumed it was something like that, because of the gasoline smell and the culprit's use of the word incinerate. But finding out for sure is a bit disturbing. "I didn't do it," he mutters to his knees, still not wanting to look up into his mother's weary face.

"Stop," was the abrupt response. "Just stop with this."

Stop with what? he wants to ask. She's always been the only one who knew, the only one who believed him when he said he isn't in control sometimes. But what is this?

"I can't deal with this anymore," she goes on. "I'm sick. Very sick. I can't be worrying about if your going to end up hurting someone, or worse. So please just be my innocent Sei-chan." She reaches an arm out and gently takes his hand. He caves and looks into her eyes and is shocked to see that she is not looking at him. Well, she is, technically, but it's more like she's not looking at Seijurou himself; she's looking through him.

_Mother is mad at me_ , he hears in the back of his mind.

"Go away," their mother demands. "I tried, I really did. But this is the last straw."

_Tell her that you told me to._

Seijurou ignores him and continues to listen to their mother. "Do you hear me? I will no longer be happy unless you're gone."

_Tell her. It's your fault. You asked me to do it._

"No," Seijurou says silently. "I don't want you around either. Things would be better if you were just gone."

_It won't be better,_  he insists.  _You have no idea how much I do for you._

Whatever. Seijurou is anxious. He knows that his other half will do what she says; he always does. "You'd better listen to her if you want her happy," he warns smugly. "You don't want her to be upset, do you?"

There's a bit of a silence.  _You're going to regret this, Sei-chan,_  he threatens back.  _You're the one who invited me here in the first place. You'll be asking for me back. And when you do, you'll have to put up with my vengeance._  And then he's gone.

"Sei-chan? Are you okay?" his mother's voice breaks through. "You spaced out." Her hand is on his neck, fingers stroking him comfortingly.

He nods, but he feels strange. The conversation with his mother is already starting to get fuzzy, like Emperor Akashi took it with him. He prods in the back of his mind, trying to see if he can feel his presence. He can. Not that it's surprising, because where can he go?

"Your father is very angry," she states like their previous conversation didn't happen. "He wants you to go see him when we get home."

Seijurou's blood freezes in his veins. His father wants to see him? Why now? Why after all these years of not wanting to meet him? On another note, shouldn't they be home by now? I seems like they've been in the car for longer than normal. Is the traffic bad? He hasn't noticed. But now he's really nervous. What's his father going to say to him? Is he meeting him now to exile him from the family? Or is he going to give him good news? Though since he's angry, that's probably not it.

When they finally arrive home, Seijurou is shaking hard. Why is he so scared? He almost  _never_  gets scared, especially about something like this. It's his father. Just another human. If anything he should be excited. Getting to meet the man at last. He's wanted this for so long.

The gate to his house opens automatically and they park inside the fencing. He gets out of the car and immediately heads to the front doors. Usually someone would open the door for him, but as Tanaka's currently helping Seijurou's sick mother out of the car, he decides to just do it on his own. He's not shaking so bad now. He's quite calm, actually. He's finally going to meet his father.

"Welcome home, Seijurou-sama," he's imidiately greeted by one of the maids. "Your father has summoned you. He's in his office." Seijurou smiles in thanks and heads into the direction of the head's office, but he's stopped by a hand on his shoulder. "Please don't mouth off. He seemed very angry and I know how you can get."

What the hell was that? He keeps the warning in the back of his mind, but he doesn't think he'll need it. He quickly makes his way to his destination, growing more excited by the metre. Does his father look like him? Sound like him? Maybe they both radiate the same type of feeling. He raises a clammy hand and knocks on the old mahogany wood.

There's a few seconds of silence before the door creaks open and he's faced with a suited chest. So he's tall. He raises his gaze to the man's face and -

* * *

It's dark. He's curled up against a hard wall, hugging his knees tightly. He's in pain. At first he thinks it's from when that fat teacher knocked him to the ground, but no. It's all over his torso, his ribs and abdomen mostly. He can't see in the shadowy room, but he's sure underneath his shirt would be covered in purple.

He's crying. The quick expanding and deflating of his lungs from the sobs brings a sharp pain in his ribs and the salty liquid is slightly burning his tired eyes. Now that he's conscious of it, he tries to calm himself. He can't remember what happened, but it doesn't seem like a regular blackout. His other half doesn't cry; he's way too proud to do something like that.

There's a small ray of light coming in from beneath the door to his right. Now that he's noticed it's there, his eyes begin to adjust to the darkness. He's in a vaguely familiar room. It's small and empty, like an unused closet. He's been here before, multiple times, but he can't remember when or why.

He leans his head on the wall and breathes deeply. His ribs sting, but it's better than the gasping breaths from before. He's not sure why he's crying, but he's unable to stop the flow of tears completely. He runs a hand down the tender flesh of his stomach, closing his eyes. A faceless man flashes behind his lids, and he swallows hard. Is that man his father?

He searches his mind for answers. He's sure he saw his father's face, but he can't seem to picture it. Something is missing and it's not just the memories. He's alone, he realises with a start. Not just in the room. For the first time in as long as he can remember, he's completely alone in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for this abomination. It's very fillery and the dialogue is forced. I just couldn't seem to write. A lot of bad stuff has been happening in my life, so that's my excuse. Next chapter is going to be a lot lighter and hopefully better, so look forward to that. Maybe some akakuro loving, hehehe.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for putting up with this chapter! Please tell me if you see any grammar errors (I'm not an English expert.)
> 
> By the way, this story has almost 100 kudos! Super happy about that!


	6. Shine part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update. *gasp* I would like to apologise in advance for this sorry excuse of a chapter. I haven't been doing so well recently so any shred of talent I may have once had is long gone. This one is short and set in the past OTL. Please do not kill me. I just felt like this needed to be added in. Anyway, please find a way to enjoy.

_"Mama, why is it night time already?"_

_"Mama, how did I get here? I was with Papa."_

_"Mama, how did I get hurt?"_

_"Mama, where's Papa? Why are you crying?"_

Akashi Shiori knew there was something wrong with her son long before anyone else. At first it was just memory lapses and as it progressed she realized that sometimes the child she was speaking to was not the same as the one she gave birth to. It was small things. The way he walked and his speech patterns. Whether or not he wanted to be around his father. Even what foods he liked and what toys he played with. She didn't see a problem. So what if only half of her baby boy remembered terrible things? It was probably better that way.

But when she saw her Sei-chan with blood on his hands, standing over the mutilated body of his new dog, she knew that she could no longer ignore what was going on.

"Hey, Sei-chan?" she asked after he woke up from his nap. She'd already disposed of the corpse in the yard and cleaned all the blood. Well, as much of it she could get with the hose.

"Yes, Mother?" He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and took the water she offered. She was sitting on a chair beside his bed. She could have chose to sit on the bed with him, but decided that if they have to have this conversation, they might as well keep it as professional as possible, even if he is only five.

"You know what happened with your dog?" she started, not exactly knowing how to go about this.

He swallowed a gulp a water quickly and tightened his grip on the glass. "Yes."

She needed more than that though. "Um... What do you know about it?" Silence. Sei-chan fiddled with his shirt a bit and drank down the rest of his water before returning his gaze to her.

"I killed him." He said it so casually that Shiori almost swore that she misheard him. Sei-chan placed the now empty cup on his bedside table and sat up completely and threw the blankets off. He pulled his left pant leg up, revealing purple marks on his ankle. Bruises, small and round. "He _bit_ us, Mother," he explained calmly. "He was still little, but he would have grown and his teeth would be this big." He held his fingers a few centimeters apart. "If we let his teeth get that big, he could really hurt someone. I don't want to be hurt."

"Honey..." She didn't know what to say. What could she say? "W-why didn't you just say something?" she asked, voice shaking, as he smoothed his pant leg back down. "We could have taken care of it. We could have given him to another home."

Sei-chan gripped his sheets hard between his small fists. He kept his eyes down as he replied, "That's what happens to things that get in an Akashi's way. They don't get to live." He let go of the sheet and brought his arms to his chest, curling into himself. "That's what Father says." His eyes seemed to unfocus as he stared into his knees.

Her hand flew to her mouth as she let out a sob. Her tears pooled on her hand and spilled down her fingers. Sei-chan's blank expression turned into one of alarm when he glanced up at her. "Mama?" he chirped, quivering slightly. "What's wrong? What happened?"

She bounced out of the chair and threw her arms around her son. "I'm so sorry, Sei-chan," she wept into his soft hair. "I'm sorry things have to be this way." She pulled him closer, pressing him tight against her chest. "It'll get better. I promise, love, things will get better."

"It's okay, Mama," his small voice said into her blouse.

Things did not get better. If he tried to put off going to bed, he was punished. If he took too long to get to the table, he was punished. If he asked someone to repeat themself, he was punished. The punishments took place in the guest bedroom next to the master bedroom. Close enough that Shiori could hear every smack, every shout, every plead, every sob.

"Honey, maybe you shouldn't be so hard on Sei-chan," she tried one day. Her husband just scoffed.

"I'm just toughening him up, dear," he claimed. "The real world isn't so nice. It's best Seijurou learn that sooner rather than later."

"Maybe think about easing up a little?" she suggested. "He's just entered school. It would be bad if the teachers started to talk..."

"Seijurou knows where his loyalties are. He'll keep his mouth shut. He knows what will happen if he doesn't."

That night he was in a particularly bad mood. Sei-chan didn't finish his dinner. Usually he would have to stand against the wall with his arms raised above his head until everyone else had finish, but tonight he was brought into the guest bedroom. She tried her best to block out the yelling from her husband and the small cries of pain from her son.

"Conditioning, dear," was the only thing he said when he returned to the table.

She wanted to leave. Just to pick up her son and walk out the front door, never to return. But she couldn't. She had no money and no family of her own. Where would they go? They would starve on the streets. She had started to discreetly sell her things. She hid the money she made behind the thin wood of the back of a cabinet in the kitchen. Neither her nor her husband had any need to go in there, but no one would ask if she was seen. The maids were paid enough to never question.

She planned to leave May 1st in the middle of the night. She had saved up enough money for a few months rent and food, plus travel costs, seeing as they would have to leave town. Since it would be warm, they needn't have heat. She'd find a job while Sei-chan was in school. Sei-chan might not get the most privileged of lives, but they'd be okay. Everything would be okay.

She was shaking when midnight rolled around. She was in the sitting room, pretending to read. Her husband had left a couple of hours ago. To go to bed or to work in his office, she didn't know. It didn't matter. The overnight maids had gone to their quarters and the house was silent. She set her book down and stood quietly. Her fluffy slippers cushioned her footsteps as she tiptoed through the hall and to the empty kitchen. All she needed was her money and Sei-chan. No clothes. They could buy new ones.

After retrieving her cash, she set off to get her son. She was worried, but she knew she was doing the right thing. As soon as she turned the corner into the hall Sei-chan's bedroom was in, she froze. There was a shadow standing at his doorway, peeking in through the crack.

Her breath caught in her throat. _What is going on?_ She took a few angry steps forward to tell whoever was spying on her baby off, but she recognised the figure. It was her husband. She relaxed slightly, but then recalled the wad of cash in her hand. Tactfully hiding the bills in the waist of her skirt, under her shirt, she walked the remaining steps.

"Cute, isn't he?" her husband whispered without turning around. "I'm glad he has your hair. It looks good."

"Wh-what are you doing?" she inquired, ignoring the unusual conversation.

He sighed and glanced down at a paper in his hand. "I just found this. He didn't even tell me." Curious, Shiori walked closer and turned her attention to the page. A first-grade pretest with a bright red 100 and a smiling sticker. "He's only been in school for a month and he's already doing so well. I came to praise him, but of course he's already asleep." He folded the paper and stuck it into his pocket. "I..." He paused, trying to gather his thoughts. "I know I lose my temper with him sometimes, but I couldn't have asked for a better heir. I really couldn't."

The pure adoration in his voice brought tears to Shiori's eyes. Why is this happening? _Now_ , of all times? "He really is perfect," she agreed quietly.

"Yes. Just like you." He turned, smiling, in her direction and worry immediately filled his eyes. "What's the matter?"

She didn't answer. She couldn't without outright sobbing. Biting her lip hard, she brought her hands to cover her face and shook her head. Warm arms soon wrapped around her body and pulled her in close. "How about we go for ice cream tomorrow?" his soft voice asked. "Just the three of us."

"That sounds nice," she managed to choke out, tears now falling freely. She lowered her hands from her face to return the hug. They stayed that way for a few more seconds, before he pulled away slightly and gently kissed her forehead.

"I love you," he told her, wiping her tears with tender fingers. "I hope you and Seijurou know that."

It was then that she knew she could never leave. It wasn't just the money and security. She loved him way too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, that was...bad. I haven't gone back through it to fix any errors, so I apologise if you come across one. Also I feel the need to say this: This story is not an accurate depiction of DID/MPD. Do not take it too seriously. This story started as me jokingly playing with the stereotype ("Why would you do something like that?" Because reasons.) But now it has gotten quite a few views, I don't want people thinking that everyone with this disorder is like this.
> 
> Now for some shameless self-promoting (sorry). I've reopened my tumblr (kurokos-basketball) with a friend, so do follow us there is you so please. Neither of us are very active, so we may be looking for another admin. Message me if you are interested!
> 
> That's it for now, I suppose. Please review and again, sorry for the poor quality.


	7. Shine part 2

Tetsuya knew he wanted to be Akashi's friend almost the moment he saw him. Tetsuya had no friends at this school and it didn't seem like Akashi had any either. He always ate alone, worked alone, and spent breaks alone, but unlike Tetsuya, he didn't seem lonely. Getting the courage to ask him to help him with school was probably one of the best decisions of Tetsuya's life.

Tetsuya notices lots of little things about Akashi. Some things he likes, some he doesn't. The almost imperceptible way he raises his left eyebrow when he's amused falls into the 'like' category. The way he often acts like he's somehow above everyone else falls into 'dislike'. Tetsuya can tell he is trying though, and that makes all the difference.

There is one thing that worries Tetsuya about Akashi - his apparent memory problem. It doesn't seem to affect his school work and neither Akashi nor his mother, maids or butler ever mention it. Maybe this isn't so strange because Akashi doesn't seem to be all that close to them. But surely Akashi himself must realise _something_ is off.

Tetsuya falls back heavily onto his mattress. I'm tired, he thinks to himself. After the day's fiasco with Akashi and Takahashi, he just wants to sleep. He can't though, of course, as he still has homework to do and dinner with his parents. He digs in his pocket for his phone. No new mails, but that doesn't surprise him at all. He opens his contact list and scrolls through the few names. He doesn't particularly feel like talking to Akashi at the moment; he's still quite angry and Akashi's probably being lectured by his parents now anyway. He stops at the name Ogiwara Shigehiro. Ogiwara is his friend from middle school, the only one he still keeps in contact with. If it can even be called that. They haven't talked in months.

Pulling up a new message, Tetsuya writes: **Hello, Ogiwara-kun. It's been a while. How have you been? Do you like your school? Are you in any clubs? I would ask if you made friends but I'm sure you've made lots. You were always so easy to get along with.**

He hits send and shuts his phone. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply for a few seconds before getting up to change out of his uniform and do his homework.

* * *

_Tetsuya and Akashi were curled up together on Tetsuya's couch. A movie was playing on the television and a half-empty bowl of salted popcorn was on the small living room table. Tetsuya smiled as the television showed a bad puppet of a disturbing turkey get into a car and pull a gun on the driver._

_"I believe this is the worst movie I've ever seen," he declared to Akashi, pulling his eyes from the screen._

_"It is rather atrocious," the redhead agreed, nuzzling closer. His eyes met Tetsuya's and he leaned in, pressing his lips against Tetsuya's own, a strange but pleasant feeling. They didn't kiss very often but he was slowly getting used to it. Akashi brought his hands to Tetsuya's jaw and deepened the kiss. After a moment, he removed one of them and instead placed it on Tetsuya's thigh. This tickled quite a bit but he didn't mind until the fingers started inching their way upward._

_"My parents could be back any moment," he explained as he separated himself from Akashi slightly. It was his parent's fortnightly date night and they always gave him permission to invite a friend over so he wouldn't be alone. In other words, it had also became Tetsuya's and Akashi's 'date' night. They didn't do anything out of the ordinary, but it was special all the same._

_"So, what if they come?" Akashi wrapped his arms around Tetsuya's waist and snuggled his face into the blue-haired boy's neck. "Let them see."_

_Tetsuya tipped back onto the soft couch cushions as Akashi's weight pressed into him. He felt hands wandering and warm lips on his throat. All nice things but he kept his eyes on the door, getting ready to leap up the second it opened. "We're still only school age students, you know," he stated politely. "We don't have to rush."_

_Akashi unattached his lips from Tetsuya's neck and whispered, "To do what, Tetsuya?" His soft touch changed into fingers digging slightly into Tetsuya's stomach, causing him to involuntarily squirm and almost laugh out loud. "I was just tickling you. You're not too young to be tickled, are you?" His ministrations continued and soon Tetsuya was wiggling underneath him, trying to contain his compulsory giggles, the movie (now showing the demon turkey wearing the face skin of one of the protagonists' father's) forgotten._

_"Akashi-kun, please - no more," he managed to choke out, eyes streaming, as the front door opened. Akashi stopped and removed himself from Tetsuya and the couch. Tetsuya caught some of the conversation while he collected himself._

_"Hello, Kuroko-san. Did you know Tetsuya is very ticklish?"_

_The next Monday in class Tetsuya was listening to some boys talk about a monster in a horror movie they'd recently seen. Tetsuya leaned forward, tapped Akashi on the back and whispered, "At least it wasn't that creepy turkey, ne, Akashi-kun?"_

_"What was that, Kuroko?" The redhead didn't take his eyes off his returned assignment. Perfect score, Tetsuya was sure. He himself got a 15/20._

_"From Okage de Satsugai, that movie with the gross turkey," Tetsuya clarified, sitting back in his seat properly._

_"Oh, I must have missed that one."_

* * *

Ogiwara messages him back right before dinner. He wrote: **Things are really good. Busy though.** And that was it. Feeling disheartened, Tetsuya shuts his phone without replying. Of course he will reply, but maybe after he eats.

He doesn't say much during dinner, choosing to find shapes in his rice instead of conversing with his parents. He vaguely wonders if Akashi is also eating now, or if he has to skip dinner as punishment. That's not very likely. Is he banned from going out? Did he lose his phone privileges? How do his parents deal with things like this? Quite possibly he's not being punished at all and will act as if his suspension is a holiday from school.

"Are you okay?" his mother finally asks him, setting down her chopsticks. She's noticed his silence. His father has as well, but he prefers to let Tetsuya deal with his own problems unless he specifically asks for help. "You're rarely moody."

"I'm not moody now," he counters politely, shuffling his rice around. "I'm just a little tired." It's true enough.

His mother looks concerned. "Are you ill?" She stretches her arm to place the back of her hand on his forehead. "No fever. Do you want to go to bed early?" He nods and lays his chopsticks down. "You can leave your dishes. I'll take care of them."

"Feel better, son."

* * *

_Tetsuya's cousin Akira visited for a few days. His school had a fire so they were taking a couple days off. Tetsuya really liked Akira; he was the only cousin that really talked to him. They always got along well so he took him to the library with Akashi after school to hang out. It would be nice for them to meet._

_It was only a half hour in, but they were getting along okay. Akashi was using Tetsuya's given name excessively as if proving he was good friends with him. Tetsuya didn't mind though; at least he was being polite._

_After a while Akira went to the toilet and Akashi seemed to be zoning out. Afraid he was bored, Tetsuya started discussing a book they were reading together. It took a moment to get his attention though._

_"He's such a terrible person, so manipulative and mighty-acting," Tetsuya accused of the main character in the novel. His cousin came back and sat down and Akashi gave him a rather rude look. Tetsuya lightly kicked his foot under the table._

_"He's not, he had every right to do what he did," the redhead disagreed. He didn't seem to notice the kick._

_Akira cut in. "Are you guys talking about 7-Kai?"_

_Akashi ignored him. "He obviously knew what he was doing. He's a genius, not manipulative."_

_Tetsuya shook his head. Of course Akashi would think that. "I just think he went about things the wrong way."_

_"I agree with Tetsuya-kun," his cousin mentioned. "The way he tricked that girl-"_

_"Excuse me," Akashi interrupted, giving him an annoyed look. "Who are you and what are you doing sitting at our table without permission?"_

_"Ah..." he glanced awkwardly toward Tetsuya who was discreetly glaring daggers at Akashi._

_"I'd appreciate it if you'd kindly leave us alone," Akashi continued._

_Akira's face turned from a look of confusion to one of anger. "Fine." He stood up. "If you didn't want me around, Tetsuya-kun should have just told me instead of getting his asshole friend to do it."_

_"Akira-kun, wait." Tetsuya grabbed his arm before he could leave. "Akashi-kun was just joking," he tried to clarify, even though he had no idea what had gotten into him. "Weren't you, Akashi-kun?"_

_Akashi's eyes widened in an almost undetectable manner. But Tetsuya noticed. He always noticed. "I didn't know you were someone Kuroko knew. My apologies."_

_A silence fell upon the table. The cousins were looking at Akashi, Tetsuya with concern, Akira with a mix of confusion and annoyance. Akashi was gazing intently at a spot past Tetsuya's head. He didn't take his eyes away from whatever it was he was seeing, even as Akira announced that he really should get back to his hotel and that he'd see Tetsuya later._

_After he left, Tetsuya started his small interrogation. "What was with that, Akashi-kun? It wasn't even funny." Akashi gave no sign that he'd even heard him. "Hey..." He waved his hand in front of those heterochromatic eyes. "What are you doing?"_

_Akashi blinked, startled. "Ah, I'm sorry, Kuroko. We were just thinking..."_

_Out of everything Akashi had ever said, that was what stuck out the most._

_"Akashi-kun...who is 'we'?"_

* * *

Back in his room, Tetsuya picks up his phone where he discarded it on his bed earlier. No new messages or missed calls. Not feeling up to finishing the last bit of his homework, he lays down on his off-white sheets. His bed is hard compared to Akashi's. His family can't afford those fancy mattresses or new microfiber bedding like Akashi's can. This doesn't bother him and he isn't bitter; Akashi's family can't help being rich any more than Tetsuya's can help being poor. It's not anyone's fault.

He opens his phone and scrolls through his contact list the second time that day. He really should message Ogiwara back, even though he seems very busy. He clicks open the previous mail and thinks how to reply. Ogiwara didn't ask any questions or open a discussion. Maybe he'll just reply tomorrow instead and ask about his day. Yes, that seems best.

_Bzzt. Bzzt._

What is that noise? Tetsuya thinks. Is his mother making breakfast already? He peeks his eyes open and is met with only a soft blue light. it's still dark, he thinks, but what is that light? And that buzzing noise?

As he blinks the sleep from his eyes, he realises it's his phone. Who's calling him at this time? He reaches over to grab it and makes out the blurry name. Akashi Seijurou. He clicks answer. "Hello, Akashi-kun. It's very early, you know, and waking me up is not helping me not be angry at you."

"Kuroko..." His voice sounds strange, but it's possibly just the phone. He doesn't say anything else.

"So, why did you call, Akashi-kun?" Tetsuya questions cautiously. More silence. "Do you need something?"

"It's..." Akashi clears his throat quietly. "It's my mother... Kuroko, I don't know what to do."

Tetsuya sits up, alarmed. "What happened? Are you alone? Is Suzuki-san or Tanaka-san there?" He can't imagine what's going on, but if one of the workers are there then at least Akashi is safe.

"Y-yeah..." he replies, very out-of-character like. To what question, Tetsuya doesn't know. "I wanted to get a drink and she was just lying in the sitting room. That's not strange. She's sick, you know." His voice still sounds odd.

They don't say anything else for and Tetsuya regrettably falls asleep listening to Akashi's soft breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'm very sorry for this chapter OTL It's trash, I know. Writing has been incredibly hard for me recently. When will I get out of this dark abyss of depression and other issues?! (Answer: Never) This is kind of a mess of stuff that didn't quite fit in before. Next chapter will be back to Akashi's POV and hopefully in better quality, heheh... Anyway, I hope you somehow got some enjoyment out of this abomination. Maybe I'll rewrite it later after I've learned how to write again, haha. Thank you to everyone who's favourited/followed/reviewed/whatever. Thank you so much! It truly makes me happy.


	8. Now That You're Dead

Birds chirp in lyrical tones; the wind in the trees makes music for their song. Flowers bloom throughout the grassy meadow, multicolored and beautiful. The sky is bright blue, a few fluffy, white clouds passing every now and then. Though this valley is peaceful, it is surrounded by a deep, dark forest. Trees so high and thick it looks like the world just ends past the fist couple layers. He never goes there, though. He doesn't dare.

He sits among the flowers, softly petting their petals and enjoying the fresh scent of the breeze. He's not the only one here. There's another boy, a younger one. This boy lingers near the edge, by the forest, curled up, face buried in his arms. This isn't alarming; it's normal behaviour for the boy. At least he isn't tearing up the flowers and grass as he has before. It's a sad sight, though. He's sure that if he got closer he would hear the boy whimpering pitifully.

In fact, he can hear something. Not the boy, something else. It's faint, coming to him from the wind...

"...jurou-sama? Seijurou-sama?"

He blinks and his dining room fades into view. He's sitting at the table, one of the maids - Suzuki - next to him and a woman he's never seen before across from him. Suzuki is talking to him in a gentle voice.

"I know it's hard, but we really need to get this done..."

Oh. What is he supposed to be doing again? He closes his eyes and tries to focus on a few minutes ago. He remembers being sat down at the table unwillingly and then...flowers? He shakes his head hard.

"Um..." the lady across the table interjects his thoughts. "Maybe we should do this tomorrow. Give the poor boy a little more time." Time sounds nice.

Suzuki agrees. The lady stands and gathers up papers Seijurou hadn't noticed were there. Suzuki stands as well and they bow to each other. "Akashi-kun," the lady says, speaking directly to him. "In the meantime you and your father can pick an outfit for her."

"Yes." Right... Suzuki shows the woman out and Seijurou goes in the opposite direction, to his bedroom. Walking up the stairs, he realises just how tired he is. His eyes sting and it feels like he hasn't slept in days. Even his limbs feel sluggish. He catches a glimpse of himself in the decorative mirror at the top of the landing; he looks terrible. Pale with dark circles under his red eyes. It even looks like his hair is fading, though that's probably his imagination.

Seijurou enters his bedroom and immediately flops face-down on his mattress. He snuggles into his cushy pillow and falls into a short but dreamless sleep.

* * *

He's jolted awake by a loud noise, a huge bang. Eyes open wide, heart beating fast, he scans the room for the source of the noise. Nothing. There's another noise that he's just noticed. A light pattering against his window. It's only storming, he thinks, relaxing back into his pillow as blue flashes followed by another clap of thunder.

"So you're awake." The voice slightly startles him until he sees something he missed the first glance around the room. Kuroko, sitting curled up in a chair, reading a book. "How was your nap?"

Seijurou sits up and scrubs his eyes with his hands, hoping he doesn't look too awful. "When did you get here?"

"I've been here the whole time," the blue-haired boy replies calmly, setting his book (Seijurou's book, he recognizes) back on the shelf, open to save his page. This irks Seijurou but he doesn't say anything. "Sitting here since before you came into the room. I was thinking about going home if you didn't wake up, but it started raining."

As Seijurou's trying to fathom the fact that he didn't even see his boyfriend when he went to bed, Kuroko keeps talking. "So, how was the meeting?"

"It was fine." He supposes, anyway. "I have to pick out a dress for her." It's supposed to be a kimono but he doesn't care. She never wore them. There's a bit of an awkward silence. knows that Kuroko wants to comfort him but Seijurou isn't sure he wants to be comforted. Now or ever. He continues. "I don't know if I should pick white or blue." She looks (looked) real good in deep blue, but that seems too funeral-y. White may be good. It's pure and happy, like her.

"Would you like some help?" Kuroko offers but Seijurou shakes his head. He needs to do this alone.

* * *

Short navy blue with long sleeves and a high neck, sweater-like consistency. Long and white with a lot of lace and ruffles. Emerald silk down to the floor with finger thin straps. Black, black and more black. Minimalistic white and long with hand width straps andmostly full chest and back coverage made of billowy light fabric with painted colourful flowers around the bottom. Yes. This is the one.

* * *

The funeral is simultaneously beautiful and terrible. They agreed on doing a burial instead of cremation; they have the funds for it and Seijurou can't bare the thought of his mother burning. He had gotten through the wake the day before in a foggy haze, stroking her long, red hair and discreetly hiding a knife in the side of her coffin so she can fight off any evil spirits if needed. He thought about leaving his juzu beads as well but he was clutching them so tightly he didn't think he could get them out of the flesh of his palm.

The sky is bright and cloudless, the weather perfect for spending time outside. Strange for such an awful day. Seijurou's never been to the family cemetery. It's not much different from any of the one's he's seen on the television. Maybe a little fancier and they have an earth section for those who want to be buried instead of cremated.

There's so many people around and he wonders vaguely how all the people knew her. He's standing in the front with other direct family members on either side. He doesn't know them well and they don't say anything to him. There's a man on his left in dark sunglasses. Seijurou thinks that's a good idea. He wishes he brought some too.

It's time to start. The Buddhist priest says a few things that go over Seijurou's head and then gestures for the man in sunglasses next to him. The man squeezes Seijurou's shoulder before heading up.

Seijurou wants to listen to what the man has to say, he really does, but he can't help but only focus on the small chirps of the birds and the little line of ants crossing the grass a couple meters away. He can't hear or see anyone and no one can see him. The world blurs around him and his thoughts are full of flowers and clean air.

A hand is on his shoulder and he turns around fast. He's still at the funeral. A lady he's never seen before drops her hand back down to her side. She's the one who brought him back to reality. "You're Shiori's son?" He nods in affirmation. "I see you inherited her beautiful hair. You lucky, lucky child." She smiles warmly as do the people next to her. He smiles back politely before turning to the front again.

Sunglasses man isn't speaking anymore and is instead placing white flowers on top of the coffin. He kisses his fingers and touches the wood as if transferring it to her. He returns to his spot next to Seijurou and gingerly places an arm around his shoulders. Seijurou glances up in confusion but the man just smiles sadly and pulls him a little closer. Seijurou thinks, with startling realization, that this man is his father.

One of the red-haired relatives goes to have her turn speaking and this time Seijurou manages to listen as she waxes poetic about his mother. He doesn't need to hear it though; he already knows how wonderful she was.

The hardest part is when the coffin is lowered into the ground. It makes it so painfully final. She's going to stay there forever, in a dark coffin, covered in dirt. She's not going to break the coffin open and climb up through the soil when he needs her. The priest starts the final prayer and suddenly without wanting to, Seijurou bursts into tears.

Sunglasses man - his father - brings him into a full hug and lets Seijurou sob into his chest. "It's okay," he says, stroking Seijurou's hair. The choked up way he said it makes Seijurou think that maybe he's crying too.

Seijurou tries to compose himself but can't. "I'm s-sorry," he manages to gasp out. He means it as apologizing for losing his composure but the man seems to take it a different direction.

"It's not your fault," he says. "Don't ever think that this is your fault. She was very sick. We couldn't have known because your mother didn't want us to, and when she wants to hide something, she hides it well."

For the first time, Seijurou is glad he has a father.

* * *

The next few days are very difficult. Everyone insisted that he take a week off school so he has nothing to distract himself during the day. He mostly mopes around in his bedroom or spends time in the room they put the beautiful shrine for his mother.

The one thing he looks forward to is Kuroko visiting every day after school. They don't do much. He brings Seijurou his homework so Seijurou doesn't fall behind. They complete it together and then read or talk. Seijurou isn't much for talking these days. Kuroko often stays for dinner. They eat with Seijurou's father, whom Kuroko gets along with well, for whatever reason. He's a little jealous at their ability to talk about nothing throughout dinner while he has trouble saying one thing.

Emporer has stayed silent through this entire ordeal. Seijurou spends a lot of time prodding the back of his mind, seeing if he can find him or if he's really gone forever. He hopes it's the latter.

Seijurou and Kuroko are walking, hand in hand, around the Akashi estate. His family own a lot of land so this is something the two enjoy to do on nice evenings.

"How are you?" the blue-haired boy asks, glancing towards him. He asks this a lot.

"Fine," Seijurou replies automatically. It's true enough. As long as he doesn't think anything is wrong, nothing will be wrong.

Kuroko, however, gives him a disbelieving look. "Really? You seem very distant recently."

Seijurou decides not to answer. He spots a rock in the grass and chooses to kick it with all his might. His foot hits but the rock doesn't budge. It's halfway in the ground. "Ow!" He stumbles and lets go of Kuroko's hand, trying to get his balance back. He barely manages not to fall.

Kuroko is looking at him with those blue eyes, very apathetic. "Idiot." Seijurou only huffs loudly in reply to the insult and walks ahead, trying not to limp. He has to fight to keep a smile from emerging.

* * *

Stabbing, burning, freezing, pain beyond belief. This happens sometimes and there's nothing he can do about it. He has an okay tolerance against physical injuries, but he has no idea how to deal with this. Clutching his chest, he sinks to the floor, sobs coming hard and fast. He can barely breathe.

Why do humans have this reaction? What is the point of being hurt inside? Sure, animals have emotions as well, but they don't cry and they get over it quick. At least for physical injuries there's ointments and bandages and things you can do to make it better. For this there's nothing.

"Please," he weeps to no one in particular. "Please help me." He doesn't want to feel, he doesn't want anything except complete oblivion.

_That happens to be my job_. _I'm more equipped to deal with these things._ It's an answer he wasn't really expecting but he guesses the cry for help was unconsciously to this person _. I know it hurts. It hurts for me too. We never even got to make up because you kept me locked away. I didn't even get to say goodbye._ There's bitterness in his tone.

Seijurou's sobs ease and he's able to catch his breath. The presence of the other is oddly comforting. "Take it away," he demands. He's never asked to black out before but he reckons he's always had the ability. "The pain, the memories, I don't care. Just make it go away."

_You know, now that Mama's...gone...we have free reign. We can do whatever we want. Take whatever we want. We can wreak havoc on the world for hurting us this way. Just as Father taught us._

Seijurou stays silent for a few minutes. He yearns for comfort in his chest, so badly he can hardly stand it. "Fine," he concludes. "Do whatever you want. Just make it stop."

_As you wish._ Then, for the first time in his memory, he consciously slips into black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...sorry. I don't know much about funerals. Also I am very tired so I will edit it in the morning. I know it's a bit strange of a chapter but as someone with a rather bad dissociation problem, I can assure you it is very much like this (for me, anyway, hehe). I don't even know the plot of this anymore, haha. Feel free to harass me on either here or tumblr or wherever. Anyway! Thank everyone who left a comment or kudos or even read this! I'm really, really thankful! *hugs and kisses*


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